Conversations with a girl
Oct 11
Am i holy?
well.i do think you're kinda holy...but see...i dunno..it depends...but then just coz you seem to be living in the mosque and praying so much,it doesnt really make you holy does it? its what you feel that matters..
See the thing with me and religion is a long story.
I feel unreligious. But at the same time very god fearing. Its like the 2 should not be unconnected, but in my case, i feel they are.My problem is that everything seems to be a hypocrisy. Everyone theppl in it seem to be hypocritical. i am told I must behave in acertain way or perform certain acts if I want to be a 'good' bohra. But i dont do all these things. For ex, praying 5 times a day, orpraing the quran always or so many other small things that i amsupposed to do, but dont even know. To do everything I will have todevote my entire life and all my time fully to religion, So If I do certain things and don't do other things�what's the point?Either you do it all out or not at all right?. What the point of beingreligious to different degrees. for example, we are not supposed toeat some types of seafood, but i do. Does that mean i am a bad bhora?or unrelegious.
The thing is, being a bhora is a really good thing. And i think our releigion is fantastic. Very strict at times though. there is so much to learn. I only know a pin heads worth of stuff. Maybe that is one ofthe problems. I dont' know enough. Or i am not satisfied with what iknow. The thing is, that to learn more is very tough, cuz the info iswith learnered ppl and they impart it very infrequently.
All this is too complicated to think about. Writing it helps tho. I'msorry for telling you everything. I don't know if you can understandenuf of what i am telling you from what i have written. But, i told you anyway.
What do you think?
i just wanted to add on this subect, that the thing that sparked this off was everyone complainging about my hair. I wouldnt mind cutting it, but jsut the fact that i was told i must do that has made me feel rebellious. It also the fact that for the first time i am happy with the way my hair looks, and cutting it will mean thta it might never again look the way it is looking now.
why can't they let us be the way we want. i mean they say we are not supposed to play with stringed instruments. Only god knows why. Out went my chances of ever learning to play the paino. But i still went ahead and learned to play the guitar. YOur not supposed to eat sea createures with shells on them so out goes crabs and lobsters and prawns. See i'm sure there is a good reason for this, its just that i cant help feel that the are old wives tales. I dont understand why you have to do all this to be a good muslim.
i guess it must seem like hypocricy to you...some parts of doing what is told in your religion...but i believe that religion lies in your heart matt...not in whta everyone talks about...God doesnt love you and bless you for what you look like,but for how much you believe and trust in him...its farely hard to honour and love someone you havnt reaaly seen as such,but God knows how hard we try and will bless us according to how much we believe in him..thats why i agree with you about your hair...God knows none of us are perfect either...and i dint think He'd actually reprimand you for your haircut...afterall its not something that effects your faith in Him right?
matt,you also gotta remember that religion is a really ancient thing...so sometimes,some of the things that seem to be implied dont seem very practicle...its upto us to know where and when we gotta act right..that kinda thing...do you get it?
i dunno if i'm making much sense to you...this is what i've been taught to believe in...also what i really think is right....BUT most of all matt,just remember that religion really lies in your heart...not in your hair or your appearance..and i think God knows that too...
i hope i made at least a bit of sense to you matt...feel free to contradict anything you feel is not right about what i said...afterall,i'm still learning too..
Am i holy?
well.i do think you're kinda holy...but see...i dunno..it depends...but then just coz you seem to be living in the mosque and praying so much,it doesnt really make you holy does it? its what you feel that matters..
See the thing with me and religion is a long story.
I feel unreligious. But at the same time very god fearing. Its like the 2 should not be unconnected, but in my case, i feel they are.My problem is that everything seems to be a hypocrisy. Everyone theppl in it seem to be hypocritical. i am told I must behave in acertain way or perform certain acts if I want to be a 'good' bohra. But i dont do all these things. For ex, praying 5 times a day, orpraing the quran always or so many other small things that i amsupposed to do, but dont even know. To do everything I will have todevote my entire life and all my time fully to religion, So If I do certain things and don't do other things�what's the point?Either you do it all out or not at all right?. What the point of beingreligious to different degrees. for example, we are not supposed toeat some types of seafood, but i do. Does that mean i am a bad bhora?or unrelegious.
The thing is, being a bhora is a really good thing. And i think our releigion is fantastic. Very strict at times though. there is so much to learn. I only know a pin heads worth of stuff. Maybe that is one ofthe problems. I dont' know enough. Or i am not satisfied with what iknow. The thing is, that to learn more is very tough, cuz the info iswith learnered ppl and they impart it very infrequently.
All this is too complicated to think about. Writing it helps tho. I'msorry for telling you everything. I don't know if you can understandenuf of what i am telling you from what i have written. But, i told you anyway.
What do you think?
i just wanted to add on this subect, that the thing that sparked this off was everyone complainging about my hair. I wouldnt mind cutting it, but jsut the fact that i was told i must do that has made me feel rebellious. It also the fact that for the first time i am happy with the way my hair looks, and cutting it will mean thta it might never again look the way it is looking now.
why can't they let us be the way we want. i mean they say we are not supposed to play with stringed instruments. Only god knows why. Out went my chances of ever learning to play the paino. But i still went ahead and learned to play the guitar. YOur not supposed to eat sea createures with shells on them so out goes crabs and lobsters and prawns. See i'm sure there is a good reason for this, its just that i cant help feel that the are old wives tales. I dont understand why you have to do all this to be a good muslim.
i guess it must seem like hypocricy to you...some parts of doing what is told in your religion...but i believe that religion lies in your heart matt...not in whta everyone talks about...God doesnt love you and bless you for what you look like,but for how much you believe and trust in him...its farely hard to honour and love someone you havnt reaaly seen as such,but God knows how hard we try and will bless us according to how much we believe in him..thats why i agree with you about your hair...God knows none of us are perfect either...and i dint think He'd actually reprimand you for your haircut...afterall its not something that effects your faith in Him right?
matt,you also gotta remember that religion is a really ancient thing...so sometimes,some of the things that seem to be implied dont seem very practicle...its upto us to know where and when we gotta act right..that kinda thing...do you get it?
i dunno if i'm making much sense to you...this is what i've been taught to believe in...also what i really think is right....BUT most of all matt,just remember that religion really lies in your heart...not in your hair or your appearance..and i think God knows that too...
i hope i made at least a bit of sense to you matt...feel free to contradict anything you feel is not right about what i said...afterall,i'm still learning too..
posted by The Grin Reaper at
4:32 PM
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