Misunderstood

I think the biggest problem was that I was Mr. Understood and you were Miss.understood. Sometimes it was the other way round as well.

But see everything is a learning experience. At least that's wat my alter ego (the shrink in my head) tells myself. On another note, I think that we all have our own little shrink in our heads. Usually he the cause of our mental fuck ups. 1 in 4 people are clinically insane....why you guys edging away from me...

I'll be happy as long as I no that I have made some sort of impression in to life. As long as I have a role. As long as I was not just something that would be forgotten and insignificant as the last chocolate I ate. Everyone wants a legacy. I want mine as well.

So if I was to guess my role, I think it would be...fuck (panic) I don't know! Was it the nice guy who was always there, was it the one with whom many adventures were shared, was it...Was it...Was it. See part of the problem was that I did not know.

On the other hand, the mirror role was that I was in interesting company. I felt the butterflies again. I was made to feel like shit at times. I had someone to admire and learn from. I could talk to someone and share unforgettable moments with. I have made memories, many good ones. I have learnt about myself. I have learnt about other people. I have learnt what to do and what not to in future. The flutterby's were worth it. They always are. They always will be the worlds greatest excuse for fallingin love!

Wait. Oh but there's more I need to get off my overburdened head. Why do I insist on carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Because then I can feel invincible and emotionally charged at the same time. (doesn't make sense. Let me try again). Because I want to feel ALIVE. (once more...) because having issues is makes me vulnerable, and making vulnerable shows that I am such a sensitive guy, and being such a sensitive guy is who I am (and what the chicks dig) . That cannot be right. Is there another explanation ???

I have learnt yet again that I should trust my instincts. I was proved yet again that my instincts were always right remember the argument I had (with that idiot shrink in my head) telling me to trust my insticnts or else I'll be fucked. Well, sadly I am not fucked. My argument was that if I trusted my instincts, I would not experience. And experience is what life, esp my life is all about.

One more observation about me. Whenever i seem to be in a really high state of mind. I do crazy things and say crazy things, sing spur of the moment songs, say immensely funny and inspired things, like I'm giddy or something (people might think I'm drunk and they do) something terrible happens afterwards. Being in that state of mind is ALWAYS a forerunner to hitting the ground really hard. i feel really good, but i have realized that i need to be careful cuz the people around me (this usually happens when i'm with people) can't take too much of it and they might get pissed off at me. The point was that, as someone once told me is that when your immensely high or happy, your gonna come crashing down real fast. For me being in that state means that something bad (emotionally) is going to happen soon. its like a roller coaster, but without the fun. its like being psychic. i hate that. Cuz suddenly while being so happy, i am thinking to myself, shit this won't last long and i better prepare myself for the shit that's going to hit the fan later. Itsa bloody curse.

Shit always seems to happen to me when I am about to leave the country. Wonder why. Must avoid flying during relationships

Anyway...What I must remember from all this...

1. Be spontaneous about doing things
2. Trust your instincts
3. If you don't give it 100%, don't give it at all
4. You should not wait for love to make someone feel special. Make everyone feel special every moment of the day. You don't loose anything.
5. If you do not have trust, you have doubt and them you have nothing at all.
6. Understand someone - this is hard - learn to deal with them and there traits and habits
7. If you don't like something, figure out a way to make them know it (without feeling like a person with continuous issues)
8. Talk. It is not cheap. It is invaluable. If you can't talk, write. Writing is the window to your soul.
9. Its not enough to be the nice guy. Being the nice guy, doesn't mean that you have to take shit from someone.
10. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else
11. If you are shy, introvert, sensitive, very few friends in the world make it know in the beginning
12. Define what you want from the relationship at the beginning, where the relationship stands at frequent intervals, why your getting into it in the first place.
13. A relationship means you enjoy time with her more than with anything else without sacrificing time with friends, yourself, work and family. Its just that the priorities have changed
14. You are with that person for a reason. Else you might as well be with your friends. What makes a relationship a relationship is that whenyour with that person, its so much more intimate and different than being with anyone else.
15. Don't discuss important things via e-mail or SMS or even phones ifyou can help it. There's nothing as personal as face to face.
16. When you debate or argue, accept that you can be wrong. And know how to say your wrong even if you know your right sometimes. Its painful to keep hanging on to a stalemate.
17. Kiss and make up as often as possible
18. hold hands...Kiss...Feel...Get naughty...Get adventurous...Get passionate...
19. keep telling what makes that person so special. What you like about her, what you dislike about her )in a sensitive way please). And if you ask that kind of question be sure to be ready to deal with the answers.
20. I don't really believe in the fact that you should not deal with ex's once its over and that you can never keep contact with them. It really depends on how mature you are and how fast you get over them (obviously this doesn't apply to all situations and all people)
21. Don't generalize. I hate that. (Your just like every other guy with sex on their minds) everyone is unique
22. Both people can't be stubborn at the same time. If you decide to be the unstubborn one andlet up on any issue, the other person should not make it seem like she has won a victory
23. At the end of the day kiss and make up
24. go to sleep with a good night and wake up with a good morning (not everyday though cuz then it will becomes routine)
25. Break routine. Always.
26. The small tings matter.
27. Get friendly with the parents. (the closest way to a woman's heart, is through her mother :)
28. Get friendly with her inner circle and friends and relations
29. Get to know her dog...You can't guess how many times that could save you from embarrassing situations like visiting her late at night.
30. Always try to end the relationship on a high note. Like when you guys have done something good. When you guys are both thinking mostly happy thoughts. Not when you guys are screaming at the top of your voices at each other
31. Long distance never works. Never
32. Never make fun of her religion
33. Never say you hate anyone in her family or extended family for whatever reason, because as much as she hates them at that point, the moment you say you hate them (cuz your an outsider) she will hate you for that.
34. Never let religion be or become an issue
35. Don't say I'm sorry too much.
36. Don't let "I'm confused right now, so I can't tell you how I feel of or make a decision" become an excuse for not making a decision or saying something
37. Don't talk about past relationships (this was a hard lesson to learn and I am not sure if it applies to every person or situation)
38. never show intimate stuff you have written about someone else to her (another hard one to fathom)
39. Learn to see the sacrifices and changes of behavior the other person is making and thank them for it
40. be very careful before you judge someone