The Reaperman

Conversations with a girl

2006-11-04T10:50:00.000+05:30

November 4

I'm helping out backstage again. I can't get enuf of theatre now. Its Aida Mansoors production (elizebeth moir) Dazzle. It is not hugly gr8, but its fun. Me dinesh, dininda & chamat are involved. The guys dont do a very good or convincing job in acting. The singing is ok, but the dancing is super. its over today. There are a whole lot of smal kids making me feel very old. Its feels like i have stayed the same age, and everyone else has become younger!!!

After last night, we went to commons for dinner. It was late in the nite, and there were a large crazy lot, including fereoze, siraj, the backsatge boys and sonlai and her friends., We re-arranged the furniture, and made a huge huge racket. Brought the house down. the food thre is expensive, but everything we had was amazingly tasty. I had a huge choc chip, fudge frap or something which is just too good.
Tonght is the last day and there is a cast party, but because it is a school productin, i am not sure of what to expect, although the students are quite wild...so anythign can happen ;)

A bunch of us met a week and a half ago to decide what we were gonna do next year. Feroze's idea is 6 small plays over the course of 1.5 months with a play every weekend. Each one will be directed and produced by a different team. They are small plays with a very small cast. most of the plays have a cast of about 2 ppl. AAnd the themes of the play are all wird and wonderful. Some funny, some dark etc. He wanted me to help out with the production and even act in one of them WOWOWOWOW. Wonder why he thinks i can act when there are so many better actors who have acted for a much longer time out there. I am an ameture. But i am excited. It will be cool. All the plays will be at the punchi theatre. The emphasis is on real theatre. Not glamourous stuff like R&J or Venice this time. Which i am for all the way. Because this will be serious stuff.

Its xmas...i am listening to xmas songs. And it feels super. yay

Pic enabled blog :))

2006-10-26T20:27:00.000+05:30

Oh my god. I learnt how to insert pics. Isnt this amazing. Wowowowowowowowo This is amazing. So is the most amazing car i have ever seen. Ford mustnag. Such amazing power. Really cool

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-26T20:16:00.000+05:30

You see the thing about eid and bhora's is very simple. For instance, if i were to ask you what day xmas is..you would 25th of december right. Similarly the first and last day of ramazan (which is a month) is always the 1st and 30th of the month of ramazan. and we cannot fast more or less than 30 fasts. The muslims follow a lunar calender, unlike the rest of the world which fllows a christian calender which follows the phases of the sun...anyway of rsome inexplicable reason, the majority of muslims believe that they have to look for the moon to begin and end the month. So what happens is the sky is cloudy???? Therefore what invariably happens is that although the bhoras begin the fast on the 1st of ramazan, sometime the muslims do not always begin on the same day, unless they see the moon. that means that when we end, the muslims have one more to go. Therefore my eid was on monday and the rest of muslims eid was on tuesday...comprende?

On the day of eid, we go to mosque at 5.00 am. then we pray all morning. After that everyone wishes everyone. Then we have the most looked forward breakfast of the year. Roast chicken, strings, roti, pol sambol, bread, cream and this thing which is call 'maal pulaw' which is like sweet pancakes. Then we have a 'paya' curry. Which is a curry of all wird parts of goats...like the hooves, and bones etc. The menu has not changed for ever

I began going to the gym...for a very very short burst of pumping iron. The plan is to run afterwards, but cuz of the weather and work, i have still not been able to run yet.
I do know that i have put on wieght, but not that critically. But i want to be careful cuz i don't want to become fatter, cuz once you start i know you cant stop. And the way i eat, i am surprised i am not already 2 tons...!!!

I had an accident!!!! Damn. My first one ever. I was not concetrating, cuz it was bumper to bumper traffic and i was on auto pilot. The rain was really heavy and it was dark and stormy nite. All of a sudden a big pick up bore down on me and i heard a sickening thump. Its fender had knocked in my left front light. My car looks like a one eye jack. As if it has got a black eye and been in a bad fight. So i got down from the car. It was an old lawer uncle type who owned the jeep. He was cool about things. But the woman he wa with was trying to make a good fuss. I said i do not want to make this an issue and if are ok to sort the cost yourself, i will do the same and drove off. I frankly hate all the trouble of going to the cop shed and involving cops and causing an unncessarily traffic jam. I would rather pay money and sort it out than going to so much trouble. so today i called my car renter and he said he will send some one. I probably will have to pay a large amount of money now :( I hope not...

2006-10-22T16:49:00.000+05:30

Oct 14

Today i realised how much ppl can be difficult when they want to be. See the thing is a lot of my job is to get things done by other ppl. Especially the creative ppl. Sometimes they can put up such a show of attitude. Today they did it to me saying that why must i wait so long beofre briefing them, and that i have been keeping this for so long and giving them little time, and that they will not take responsibility for it and that nothing is ready for them to do work. Its as if we are asking them for a favour, when it their bloody JOB

All my life i have been used to abuse and being ragged and usually never let it bother me. But of late i feel that i cannot take this anymore. My blood begins to boil and i get all hot and start seeing red and really feel like letting it all out. My head starts to hurt and it feels really horible. And whats worse is that after wards i cannot concentrate on anything else. Even now i feel like breaking something. Had a meeting right after this incident, and felt i was not my self and did not do as good a presentation as i am capable of. i guess i need to find a way of chilling.

All my life i have been used to abuse and being ragged and usually never let it bother me. But of late i feel that i cannot take this anymore. My blood begins to boil and i get all hot and start seeing red and really feel like letting it all out. My head starts to hurt and it feels really horible. And whats worse is that after wards i cannot concentrate on anything else. Even now i feel like breaking something. Had a meeting right after this incident, and felt i was not my self and did not do as good a presentation as i am capable of. i guess i need to find a way of chilling.

Last weekend we spent the entire night in mosque...praying. Cuz of the entire month, that particular night was the most precious. But the coolest thing was that after such a long time i saw the sunrise. I thought it was just so amazing. Colombo looked so beautiful. And the sky was heavenly. I made up my mind to try and wake up to a few more sunrises in my life. Its just that i am so not a morning person and can never wake up early. My belief is that mornings are for sleeping.

I just heard that there are 2 rainbows in the sky near havelock road. It must be really amazing. I love looking for rainbows. Do you ever stare at the sky. Sometime i love to look up and make images with cloud shapes. I once saw the titanic, dinasours and even a submarine :)

oh by the way,i saw those two rainbows... matt there was a very defined one and right above it there ws a slighly lighter one...the darker rainbow is the only rainbow i've seen which actually had all seven colors!!! i took two photograghs of it to put in my project...i carry my camera around so that i can photogragh interesting stuff for my project..
i've seen double rainbows before bu thtese two were by far tha best...and the sky was so claer and had this gorgeous dull blue color and it was so beautiful...i was travelling in the bus at that time coz malla stayed after school and i picked him up after classes at the academy...there was this point when we crossed over this large field like area and we could actually see where the rainbow began and ended!!!!! it was beyond gorgoeus..

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:47:00.000+05:30

Oct 19

"In every real man a child is hiddenthat wants to play" - Friedrich Nietzche

Isnt this a really cool quote... I think the writings of this guy arerealy amazing. You should check out his work on the net when you havetime.

I think that its such a shame that we become adults. Cuz then we loose everything thats amazing abou being a child. Curiosity, fun, beinghappy etc. You know what i mean...

CS Lewis said (and i love this quote as well) in his narniabooks... 'some day you will be old enuf to start reading fairy tales again"... so cool no?

Another frnd of mine wrote once..."'would their be any children ifthere were no fairytales?"

I hated becoming 20. i wanted to be 19 again. I was so scared that ihave not lived my teen years as fully as i wanted to. Not done things that i should do and scared that i wont get a chance to them again.Thats why i never say no to something new.Being a child again. Its amazing that we are searching for somethingthat we once had, when we should never have lost it in the first place. Don't know why i am becoming philosophical. Just ignore theseramblings.

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:44:00.000+05:30

Oct 10

i hope you dont mind me asking what > ramazaan is all about..is it the birth of Allah?is that why your'll fast and> pray?

I'm no expert on the subject of Ramazan....

Fasting and ramazan

This is the most important month for Muslims. It is seen as an opportunity for Muslims. The opportunity is to be absolved of you sinsand gain reward for all the good that you do. Because in this monththe good you gain is multiplied. It's a gift and not a burden. Fastingis like a fire that consumes all your sins, and cleanses you.The prophet suffered in his spreading the word of Islam. Thissuffering caused God to reward us with Ramazan through a littlesacrifice on our part.

Also this prophets life span was short compared to the other prophetswho lived (before him) for over 100 years. Ramazan gives us anopportunity to gain good, faster, during our short life spans.Fasting is not only about rewards, it's about training. Training your senses� to see only pure and do only good. Even your thoughts,actions, all parts of your body are disciplined. It's not about lackof food. Its about fasting all your sences. Impure thoughts, seeingimpure things etc. Its not only fasting your stomach, but all your sences. It' about what you do in hunger. You do this so that you canfully concentrate on doing good and praying. So that you are notdistracted. It also makes us healthy and controls out diet.After all, you are given 11 months, and God asks for 1 in return. It is a very holy month also because this is the month the quran came down in.

Eid � ul - Fitr

The Eid is a celebration of the successful completion of the month ofRamazan and the fasting. This is a celebration or reward for all your hard work during Ramazan, and of a celebrating the absolution of allyour sins. This is the last day of ramazan, when we eat more yummyfood and wear new clothes and on which a holiday usually falls.

See, the thing is that the english language is not the best. It fully cannot ever translate the meaning of what the arabic word means.'Fasting' is a very simplistic word that does not capture everything isaid about it.

Do you know that because english is so basic, we are never supposed to read the quran in any language other than arabic. Becauseits meaning can never ever be accuratly enuf translated.

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:32:00.000+05:30

Oct 11

Am i holy?

well.i do think you're kinda holy...but see...i dunno..it depends...but then just coz you seem to be living in the mosque and praying so much,it doesnt really make you holy does it? its what you feel that matters..

See the thing with me and religion is a long story.

I feel unreligious. But at the same time very god fearing. Its like the 2 should not be unconnected, but in my case, i feel they are.My problem is that everything seems to be a hypocrisy. Everyone theppl in it seem to be hypocritical. i am told I must behave in acertain way or perform certain acts if I want to be a 'good' bohra. But i dont do all these things. For ex, praying 5 times a day, orpraing the quran always or so many other small things that i amsupposed to do, but dont even know. To do everything I will have todevote my entire life and all my time fully to religion, So If I do certain things and don't do other things�what's the point?Either you do it all out or not at all right?. What the point of beingreligious to different degrees. for example, we are not supposed toeat some types of seafood, but i do. Does that mean i am a bad bhora?or unrelegious.

The thing is, being a bhora is a really good thing. And i think our releigion is fantastic. Very strict at times though. there is so much to learn. I only know a pin heads worth of stuff. Maybe that is one ofthe problems. I dont' know enough. Or i am not satisfied with what iknow. The thing is, that to learn more is very tough, cuz the info iswith learnered ppl and they impart it very infrequently.

All this is too complicated to think about. Writing it helps tho. I'msorry for telling you everything. I don't know if you can understandenuf of what i am telling you from what i have written. But, i told you anyway.

What do you think?

i just wanted to add on this subect, that the thing that sparked this off was everyone complainging about my hair. I wouldnt mind cutting it, but jsut the fact that i was told i must do that has made me feel rebellious. It also the fact that for the first time i am happy with the way my hair looks, and cutting it will mean thta it might never again look the way it is looking now.

why can't they let us be the way we want. i mean they say we are not supposed to play with stringed instruments. Only god knows why. Out went my chances of ever learning to play the paino. But i still went ahead and learned to play the guitar. YOur not supposed to eat sea createures with shells on them so out goes crabs and lobsters and prawns. See i'm sure there is a good reason for this, its just that i cant help feel that the are old wives tales. I dont understand why you have to do all this to be a good muslim.

i guess it must seem like hypocricy to you...some parts of doing what is told in your religion...but i believe that religion lies in your heart matt...not in whta everyone talks about...God doesnt love you and bless you for what you look like,but for how much you believe and trust in him...its farely hard to honour and love someone you havnt reaaly seen as such,but God knows how hard we try and will bless us according to how much we believe in him..thats why i agree with you about your hair...God knows none of us are perfect either...and i dint think He'd actually reprimand you for your haircut...afterall its not something that effects your faith in Him right?
matt,you also gotta remember that religion is a really ancient thing...so sometimes,some of the things that seem to be implied dont seem very practicle...its upto us to know where and when we gotta act right..that kinda thing...do you get it?
i dunno if i'm making much sense to you...this is what i've been taught to believe in...also what i really think is right....BUT most of all matt,just remember that religion really lies in your heart...not in your hair or your appearance..and i think God knows that too...
i hope i made at least a bit of sense to you matt...feel free to contradict anything you feel is not right about what i said...afterall,i'm still learning too..

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:30:00.000+05:30

Oct 10

hi...

Oosps, i'v also guilty of not writing to you. Ben concentrating toomuch on work. I had a lazy weekend. Only exciting thing i did was gofor onstage. Did i tell you abt it? It was for the soloists....nattysang. She was good, but i thought generally she is much better, andthat did not come thru. I think she did not pick the best songs. andshe was nervous as hell. MOre nervous than shen she was on the stageof venice. BUt it was good fun, cuz i think the most no of ppl frmvenice were there, and again it waz like a renewion. SHe got a massivecheering squad. My fav singer tho was sheranga. Remember...i spoke abther once. She is just amazing... think.

Work and mosque, getting home and watching TV even if there is nothignon...its becoming a routine during the weekdays. I hate routines. Ieven try and take a different route to work everyday just to avoidgetting into a rut. But work and mosque is becoming a dangerous routine. Must find more things to do. I sometimes think that theanswer to taht is to not get lazy. I tend to get lazy and thencomplacent. Must keep pushing myself. I think the best work comes whenyou have a gun to your head. You know what i mean...Anyway. i amrambling,

I went to the dentist today. I really realy hate doctors...i meangoing to them. A hospital is a place i avoid at all costs. anyway,dentists freak me out too. The last time i went was abt 3 years ago,and i refused to go alone. This time, i forced myself to go and amquite proud to say that i was very brave. I did not scream even once:) It was actaully interesting. cuz through a couple of mirrors, icould actually see where the problem was and saw my cavity. He drilleda bit into the cavity, which didnt hurt like i thought it would Ithink even the doc was surprised, cuz he kept asking if it hurt. thenhe cleaned it out and put in a temp filling. Then i asked him to clean my teeth. He put a tiny tiny bit of some toothpaste and got this tinypolishing thing out and started polishing my teeth. I have to go againto get the lower jaw done and in weeks to get a permanent filling.But it was a fun expereiecne actaully. At least, becaue it didnt pain.

I have to get ready for mosque again. tonight, its a long prayer cuzits a big nite. Its leading up to the biggest nite of the month whichis on sat nite. We have to be up the ENTIRE night praying. We onlyfininsh at about 4 am after which we eat and pray again and go home.

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:25:00.000+05:30

Oct 3

When i get anngry 1 of 2 things happen.....either i blow up or i clamp up. Usually do the later. Bottle everything inside and keep it until it festers. sometimes i dont let it out and thats bad. I'm not very good with opening myself out, but have only recently realised how important that is. I am unlucky cuz i do not have like a best friend. YOu know, someone who can be my bestest buddy ever. So many ppl have come and gone n my life.

Last nite...my wkend adventures continued. We made another spur of the moment decision to go out after mosque. This time it was some of my bhora frnds. Our first stop was Apollo hospitals. Such a nice place to just chill and do nothing. Staring at all the sick ppl coming in and out. Smelling the aroma of hospital fragrances. Imagining the screams of ppl in pain. Such a nice place to hang out.....YUCK. I hate hospitals. Thoought that apollo wz nice when it first launched. But as we went to vist a frnd of a frnd yesterday, it reminded me of all the reasons why i hate hospitals. He was put in this tiny claustaphobic room with things running out of him. HE had a bad case of incurable asthma. His lung is working only at 27 % capacity. That sounds really scary.

Then we went to this road called barber strt. I had a culinary experience i did not think that Sri Lanka could offer. This road is in pettah. Now youd think that colombo wld be dead at abt 11 or 12. But this road and parts of pettah we drove thru was happenig. It was full of life and ppl and food!!! It was thrilling remined me all over again of india. Of course this was for ramazan. Ppl were chatting, walking about, playing cards, eating and this would go on till 4 am when they eat and go to sleep again. The restaurants to go to is this really cool on on barber strt, Elite, Iqbal. They make pillaows look like a rat infested dump. The food is superb. Get this....i had the most amzing mango lassi ever. (ate at the indian restaurant part of Elite) Then had hot hot garlic narn and mutton masala. But the best revalation was this dish called chicken 65. Amazing name no? Basically batter fried bite sized chicken on a bone. Yum. Then, what was even better thatn dat was this dish called chicken lollipops. Again chicken on a bone, lollipop sized in a sweet and savoury sauce. it was so sos os sos so tasty. I could go on...

Today was another boring day at work. But i was supposed to have this big presentation to Erricsson with boss. But in the 11th hour they cancelled it and did it so offhandly. Had to put in a lot of effort in vain.

I don't have a huge sweet tooth, but have occasional cravings fro something sweet and then a tiny nibble of chocalte is enuf. But sometimes i like to melt chocolate on my fingers and lick it all up.

On girls, i always seem to first look at their shoes. For some weird reason. I think it tells a lot abt the person. I have a thing for footware. then i gues i notice the face and speciifcally eyes. BUt after that it becomes hazy. cuz its hard to notice girls piece by piece. You notice the whole package togehter. The way she walks, the way she speaks and dresses. Her smile, hair...everything. i think you were wearing your matted slippers (or barefoot) and had a twinkle in your eye when i first saw u at ranils studio.

Today was a very good day for me. I just finished a meeting with boss. He was discussing my evaluation or performance. 8 ppl have done an evaluation of me and he had the summery, where they write about me, specifically the good, bad and areas for improvement. I had no problems apart from the fact that i am a bit of a loner. I consider my self an introvert and am not necessarily the best mixer. if i had a choice, i wld avoid crowds. This was seen as a bit of a bad trait, but something where i can always improve on. Overall it was good. I like that boss knows that i do well, cuz i know that i do well. I also like that everyday in the morning as i get up, i look forward to going to work. Cuz if ever a time comes when i feel like i don't want to, then i should quit. The only regret i have is that i have not gone abraod to study...but thats a long story i dont want to cry to you about.

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:21:00.000+05:30

Sept 28

I began reading a terry pratchett of my own last nite. its called the truth. Very funny. by the way, did you check out the website i told you about on terry pratchett. Pls do. i'm telling you that you must. it will make the stroy you read so much more interesting.
I think i have a frnd who goes to that place on queens rd. It will be close to my office :)
I am one person for some weird reason who loves tests, studying and exams. I love the rush and the feeloing you get after you finish them. Where everyone else is scared, i enjoy it. So weird i am...

I just realised that next weekedn is a long one. I have to do something that weekend. I must go out of town. I wouldnt be me if i didnt make use of the holiday :)

Sometimes work is bloddy curse, especially when you have to depend one someone else. I always believe in the fact that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. Its bad cuz i sometimes get all the shit [piled up on me. And its worse when you have someone working under you cuz its hard to let go of work. But what choice do you have when you cannot depend on half the ppl here. i'm also a little pissed when no one helps..., i have to go on a market visit on Saturday. Except fro 2 ppl, noone is willing to come and help me...so i might not do it. Which is bad cuz then only this who have not helped me will loose out. i am not doing this for myself. Anyway. That is a bit of what is irking me today and i hope you don't mind if i talk to you abt it.

So what gets you angry? And when you get angry, what happens, what do you do and how do you cool down?

what do i do when i get mad??i blow up BIG TIME!!! my cheeks start burning up and there's this big lump in my throat and i wanna totally cry!!! i normally do...if i get really really bugged..thats the bad part...if i'm in an argument its kinda hard to prove my point if i'm very bugged and i'm crying...i know it sounds silly...
i calm down afert i throw a fit by being alone or talking to a friend where i can cry my heart out and get it over with..if its at home i try my best not to blow up by biting on my tongue real hard so that i wont say anything unneccessary..
if i blow uo and hurt someone,i feel extremely guilty the next moment so i apologize right away..it says in the bible never to let the sun go down without mending a quarrel..and thats what i try to do..

Yesterday i went to mosque and as i said, after mosque sat down for dinner...Dinner is in this huge hall, where abt 500 ppl sit down on the ground in a circle like i explained to you and eat. We sit in the direct line of sight with the high priest. Of all things, he called me up today. I hate when he does this. Imagine if lets say the president of the country calls u up while you are having dinner. Or imagine if you were in the middle ages and the king calls you up. Everyone turns their attension to you. And i am a bit of a notorious case in mosque as well. I do not like to conform. I knew what he was going to tell me. He whispers to my ear that it would look very nice if i cut my hair....the thing is that i was always dreading someone telling me. And if it was anyone else, i would have told that person to mind his own business. But the amazing thing about the priest is that he speaks it so well. Its as if even if he tells you the worse thing in the world, you want to listen to him, because his tone, manner and style is so sweet. And you know that he is telling you from the bottom of his heart. I guess the word is diplomatically. I don't know if i am conyeing to you what it felt like to me well enough. ANyway my issue is that i do not want to cut my hair. Cutting my hair is such a traumatic experience for me (except for the fact that i get a free 15 min vigourous amazing massage for the 100/- i pay). And i had trimmed it last week. I like the way my hair looks right now. So i am thinking of trying to avoid him as much as possible, as hard as i know that will be. Anyway, that is last nights story.

Gotta break fast and leave now. TC and b good

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:16:00.000+05:30

Sept 26

kandy was so much fun!!! we left home at 5.15 in the morning..my mom's friend's son was a royalist so he came woth us to kandy and got off at the train station where he was meeting his friends..we reached kandy at about 10.30...my dad's friends had come the previous day so they were just having breakfast when we reached the guest house...normally we stay at a hotel like Mahaweli Reach or something but this time everything was full up...we had breakfast at jinadasa in warakapola...it is the ultimate place to stop over during a trip...you've been there right?we had hoppers and halepa..i love halepa!!!
after everyone had breakfast we went to the trinity college farm...it was awesome...my dad can get us into anything that's connected with trinity coz he's an old boy and very prominent in the OBA..normally we go to trinity and my dad takes us on a tour around the whole school..it's a very beatiful school but too many steps to climb!!! there's a gorgeous view from every point in the school...and the chapel is to die for!!!!
anyway the farm was quite cooll..exceptthe stench in the piggery nearly made us all pass out!!! and the pigs were SO FAT!!!! and very pink.. matt the uncle in charge of hte farm let me hold a baby guinea pig and a baby rabbit!!! i took pictures,they're so cute!!! there were lots of animals..sheep,goats.cows,ducks,chickens...we went all around the farm..then this uncle's bungalow is at the very edge of the bangalow overlooking the river...when its the rainy season,the river fills up right upto his house!!!
anyways...after that,we went back and had lunch...thel it was time to go for the match..i painted the trinity colours on everybody's faces,even our moms and dads!!!! then we got into the bus and iput my trinity flag out...we had two flags on each side of the bus!!! it was so much fun...i cheered so much during the match i lost my voice!!!
my wrists were killing me the next day after i had waved the flag around during the entire match!!! we had seats in the grand stand downstairs,right at the back...so all the kids stood on their chairs...we had an awesome view from there!!!
after the match we went back for dinner...we ahd to leave that night coz malla had an exam in school the next morning...it was 2 in the mornong when we got home!!! but nevertherless we had to wake up early and take malla to school...

Kandy sounded super duper. Thanks for the detailed update. Have you been to ambewella farms. The animals there are beyond super. So cute. The goats and the cows. They have rabbits as well. Did not know that trinity had a farm. It must have been cool. I love the sound of it.

I had a busy weekedn too. Helping out for the st.benedicts was fun. On Fri micky didnt come so all that he thought me on thursday i put into practise. Lighting was so much fun to do. You feel like god sitting up there above everyone else. And if you feel like it, you can cut all the lights and leave everyone helpless in darkness :))) Went home late on fri. Sat was the first show. this time i was backstage. It was good too be in control. The kids called me mat aiya. That felt so funny i almost laughed. I was strict with them. Tried to be like siraj and got them to run around anytime i wanted them to. They were so clueless it wasnt funny. Don't know hoe, but somehow the show went off well. The songs they sang were bomb. They even did seasons of love (from rent...the song i played for you on my comp) Some of those guys had amazing amazing amazing voices. Even the chooti batta kids were really good.

after the show went for onstage. A lot of our boys were there playing. Also a lot of our crowd was there as well. Do you want to go this saturday. Chutiya is playing and i can bring or drop you if you need? Anywy the bands were ok. BUt it was fun hanging out. After went to pillaows for dinner. There were a record number of 11 ppl in my car. Wow. We all spent a lot of time there. Kevin was supurb. Keeping us entertained all thru the nite. It was really nice to hang out with everyone.

Then on sunday after the show, micheal, dini, me and dinesh went out for dinner. we treated ourselves to this korean restaurant on havlock road. HTe food was just beyond amazing. And what was more special is that each table has at the centre a gas cooker....imagine that. They cook your food right in front of. The idea is thta you cook it yourself and add whatever you want to to it. The sauces were out of this world. We had sea food soup and barbecued meats. The experiecen was amazing. It was during dinner that we heard about ruins dads death. Chutiya was playing at tantra. Both of them didnt seem to concerned. Went to their place at about 12 and hung out their and chatted. Was really late by the time i dropped everyone and went to sleep.
Oh on sunday i also went to watch superman. I new it would be cold so i took a blanket type huge shawl with me :) It ws really cosy under that. And before you laugh about it, it was a good thing i took it cuz it there i think i felt sick and was sneezing through out the film. I'm not saying its a bad film, but it did not live up to superman expectaitions. Had its fun moments

From sat onwards i had begun fasting. Staying hungry is not really an issue for me. The real issue is waking up at 4 in the morning. Do you know why we fast. By abstaying from distractions such as food and other things, we free up our time and mind for prayer. So that we gain the maximum good from this month which is the holiest of all. Sometimes i feel it is pointless fasting, cuz i cannot do all the holy things that i need to do and so feel that fasting has become a farce. But i must try. Then we break fast after prayers, usually at mosque. After prayers, he head priest talks to us. He teaches us (like a sermon), but its all interesting stuff. there is a lot of stress yesterday on gossiping. Gossiing is supposed to be really bad and a big sin. He said that it is so bad that it is akin to eating your own brothers flesh... after prayers and sermon (sermon is the wrong word for it, but you know what i mean right), we have dinner. It is always an amzing dinner. Last nite was Jalebi (sweet oily thing), chicken in yum gravy, soup and biriyani. This goes on the entire month of ramazn for us.

I finished narnaia last nite. Read the entire last book in a couple of hours steaight. Very sad now cuz the book is over. It was really beautiful. I need to start again on some of my old books. Maybe will read hitchikers guide. Have you read them? They are my fav after pratchett. Even funnier. Just amazing.

My mum is ok. She is slowly going back to hr routine of housework and prayers. She is amzinlgy picky over her house. Everything has to be spotless and in its place. Sometimes it becomes just a little too much for me to handle. but a hell of a lot of life has comeback home. Its gr8 to have her back

Its time i went to mosque too. Talk to you later.

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:14:00.000+05:30

Sept 21

Meybe when i come over for the flute lesson, i can actually do it and show you. I love to cook you know. The favourite place in any house for me is the kitchen. I'm a great experimentor with food. Love it. eVEry time someone calls me for lunch, i end up cooking it myself :) I have bad news. I wont be coming for bradby. Damn. I was looking forward to it as well. Cuz dininda has got caught up in work, he cant make it and therefore neither can i cuz i was going for it. Maybe next year then. So sad yar. I would have supported trinity. Cuz i like kandy and i like the look of the school. I dont know too much about the school, tho bu i am sure it must be cool. I have to run to the wendt. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. My mum is coming in the afternoon tomorrow. Yayayayayayayayayayaya. But i think my bro will go to pick her and i will see her only in the night.

Bye

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:11:00.000+05:30

Sept 20

CAme back from a mind numbing meeting where the CEO of mobitel goes on and on and on. Its torute. Where he can finish in 1 hour, he makes it 2. Seriously men, metgs are the most un productive things in the world.

Tonight is the farewell of michael at office. Cuz he is leaving us and joining another company. I have to give a speecha nd a few of us have to do something to him. I think its silly that we have to do something to put him on the spot. If anyone did thta to me, i wld hate it. But anyway we are going to strip him and dress him up as a girl. come to think about it, he mite actually like it. ha ha ha. I also have to give a speech. But i will really really miss him. (in case yo didnt realise it, this is gratiano)

I was to go with dininda to the bradby. But he has still not firmed up the plans. Now i am worried that it won't happen. Must give him a call tomorrw. I would like to go, just to see it at least once. I thought you would go running up on friday....

My mum is coming friday afternoon. I'll give the car to my bro and try an borrow his bike. Ha ha. That would be cool cuz he has a bike that is a fake harley. One of those cool big bikes. Can't wait. Esp to see what my sis has sent for me. I told her to bring lots of food. I love indian food.

Speaking of food. Last nite's food was yum. Simple and amazing. i'' try and describe it to you but will bet that you would never have tasted some of it. First was custard with jelly and ice cream. Then we had something called ravo. This is pronounced like bravo without the b. It is basically "rulan" cooked with jaggery. I like to mix sweet and savoury. So i eat it with a curry. It is amazing. love it. Then we had "dhall, chaval, paleedu" Basmati rice with parippu and chicken masala. The dhal and chicken (dry, but spiced up) is in the bottom layer, and the top layer is plain rice. Then we have a curry called paleedu. It is basically a snake gourd (i think) curry. Finally we had a side dish of "channa Batetha'. It is basically boiled gram with potatoes whiched are spiced up with a bit of tamarind juice concentrate for flavour. The best thing about the food was that my bro did 'dhungar' for it. That means that say for example the rice is put in a big metal container. We make a small hollow in the middle and lower into it a small metal cup that contains a couple of live coals which are smoking. Once that is in place, we pour a bit of ghee over the hot coals so that you get a hell of a lot of smoke. AS this happens, we cover up the container and put a weight on it so that no smoke leaves. Leave that cover for about 10 minutes or less. Once its done the flavour of the smoke gets into the food and the taste becomes divine. It is really amazing flavour.
Do you get what i'm saying?

ME

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:08:00.000+05:30

I got hold of the R&J Dvd last nite and was watching bits and pieces of it. It is amazing. And its even cooler cus now i know more than half the people who acted in it. When i watched it, i did not. Also they look so young. Chamat for ex is very thin, dininda looks like a kid. Sashane looks the same tho.
I made the most amazing mashed potato's last nite for dinner. There wasnt any food at home and i was tired of doig something more extravegent than that.
For lunch i usually hav a bath packet from a nearby petti kade. She cooks amzing rice and curry in the morning in her little bath kade so its fresh and puts a little extra for us when i want. BUt the prob i have with eating rice and curry everyday is that i get very sleepy.
having a dinner at my bro's house. Going with my dad. I think its my nieces bday so they have called us, even tho nafisa is not in the country. Dont really wanna go cuz i dont talk much to them, but the food will be good. hows ur soul mate. is he relieved that the play is over and he will have more time with you now?

Until later

Me

chamath,thin?????ha ha
i can imagine what sash must'vr looked like though...by the way,now that venice is over are you gonna grow your beard again??and look 'divine'...remember when i said that ????gosh,you must've thought i was retarded no??!!!

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:04:00.000+05:30

Sept 18 - Day 1 after venice

HI sunshine.... :)

I wanted to mail u when i had a clear head (from the usual monday morning work) and a full stomach. Just went to green cabin for an awesome lunch.
Another movie i recommend apart from RENT is Amelie. It is a french film that is sooo sweet. U will just begin to appreciate life so much. It will remind you abt everything good in the world and you will feel like a kid again. It is just so amazing. Weirdly it was written and directed by the same guy who did ALIEN, but it is worlds apart.
One more film u shd see is "life is beautiful" if you have already not. These are some of my fav films in the whole world.

I just got the best news in a while. My mum is coming back on Friday after about 2 months. I am so happy...yay. I do not have the kind of relationship that you have with your parents, but i really missed her even tho we disagree on so many things and always argue. Whats worse was that she wasnt there to see me perform. I would have got her to see me everyday and no that she would have loved it. Cuz she was always interested in the 'arts' as in music, dance etc. But when she was small her grandparents and uncles neer let her do it saying it was not for girls. (she went to bishops by the way). shit i want to curl up and wallow now :(((( Sorry. i'm a big baby. Sorry. I guess its all beginning to sink in. Yesterday and last day and all.

I am quite sleepy cuz on the way to drop some guys, chootiya, kevin, poornima, nayanthi, dinesh etc, we stopped by at the beach, cuz we did not want the day (nite) to end. The beach in the nite is my new favourite palce. I told you that rite. Its amazing just lying in the sand and staring at the stars. We frightened some couple who were necking in the car parked by the beach. That was funny :) Reached home at 4. Then for one hour, i was struggling with those damn flowers.

First of all i had to find a vase. I dont think we have ever brought flowers to our home, so we dont have vases. Not only was it 4 am, and i was tired, there was not one to ask where anything was. So i had to improvise. I found an emty 4 litre ice cream container that ended up being just perfect, tho not easthically perfect. Then i had the worst time getting the wrapping out. There was so much wire and kambi and i could not find the pliers. So i was using my fingers and a blunt sissor to cut it open. its still hurting! then i had to arrange it and that was a curse, cuz some of the stems were short, some were drooping. So i got rid of the short stuff and had to do a bit of arranging. When i got up in the mornig, tho, i must say it looked really nice Brought so much colour to the home. hmmmm...

BUt i actually was thinking, that the problem with flowers, and probably why i do not think giving them is a good idea is that they die. So isnt the whole point of it lost. I think it would be so much better if the flowers that you get, you could plant. Cuz that way not only do u do the envirnment a favour. U make your garden prettier and the gift lasts flor muc longer. I think giving a plant or a tree as a gift instead of flowers is a better idea than giving flowers...what do you think.

TC

PS, I got the R&J dvd. looking forward to seeing that!

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T16:02:00.000+05:30

Sept 14

Hi,

I need a favour. Can you teach me how to play the flute. I'll bring one tomorrow. Pls....
Just the basics. I have been searching for someone to teach me far and wide and for so long i have almost given up.
It is one of my favourite instruments also, so its only natural that i learn how to play it.

Excellent,.... thanks

Conversations with a girl

2006-10-22T15:54:00.000+05:30

Sept 13

I wz really bored last nite cuz there was no performance. Can i tell you a secret. I have absolutly no idea how i will manage without the play and i am a little scared. Do you know what i mean. Cuz suddenly i will have so much free time, that i am afraid i will be bored silly. And what is worse is that i will miss everyone i used to see practically daily for so many months. And then i will loose touch with so many ppl and will next meet them only in like 50 years time and then we will laugh and think about the great times we had on stage. Its quite scary and i cannot really describe it by writing about it. Its just a feeling

matt i know what you feel like when it comes to venice...i've been thinking about it for quite some time too...i'm definitely gonna miss everyone just like you will...its almost been a year ever since i joined and now i'm suddenly gonna lose out on it...the last performance is gonna be so hard...knowing that we wont get to do it again...and knowing that i'm not gonna be meeting all my new friends for a looooong time..ouch,i feel like crying right now!!!
but then again matt,things come and go in life and its our job not to get stagnated in one place but to move on...if we just hang on to every passing thing in our lives we might miss out on some of the best things around us..its so hard i know,but what to do..that's life...

I just had a very good hour. I had finished a presentation i have been working on for the last week and reviewing it with my boss. I should have finished it much earlier, but was being lazy. So i was really afraid he was going to scold me fo doing a bad job. But he didnt. He loved it. And thats great, cuz i feel as a whole load of pressure is off me. So i have a reason to celebrate and spend some time doing something more interesting than worrying.

U know a quote that comes to mind everytime something i love comes to an end...."don't cry because its over, smile because it happened" Venice was an amazing experience and its memories will live for ever with me. What is more heartening is that along with the memories, i have picked up some gr8 friends :)

Ice Age 1 & Ice Age 2 are both fabulous. You have to watch it & stitch as well. They are super cool and really funny...ooh...ooh, my fav 2 movies have to be Finding Nemo & Monstors Inc. I just love them. I know what u mean abt the crying. Dont worry about it. everyone does it sometimes. even the most grease stained, hard haerted, tattooed, motor bike riding and chain wearing, rock music loving person would melt when they see stuff like this. (i'm sure they will even if they dont admit it)

I was reading the Narnia books just before performance. I am looking forward to finishing them after actually. I love those books. I read them when i waz a kid and ever since them, it has been one of my dreams to own all 7. Only a month ago i bought it and now i feel as if an impossible childhood dream has come true :)

Some true insights to life

2006-02-28T12:03:00.000+06:00

What better shelter from the storms and trials of daily life than friendship and to know that there is someone out there you can fall back on.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you know that every moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless-the people you meet affect your life.

The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

Me...an outside view

2006-02-04T17:25:00.000+06:00

This was my dear frnd shy's inspiring and thruthful comment on my last blog entry. I thought that it was worth puttng up as a post to inspire me when i come across this at some later date....

I once read somewhere, or maybe i heard someone famous say this "the worldis a giant stage, and we are all actors, acting out our lives". So yeah, anyone can act, what makes some people better at it than others is becausethey use their creative side of the brain.

Confidence is not something other people could give you. People are selfish these days (we have had countless arguments on that one) they don't want to instill confidence in other people when they themselves lack it. That's the reason why you should build it up yourself and try to think of yourself as the greatest person in the whole world, this should be confused with ego.That's probably why i can take a lot of bugging, no matter what anybody says, it can't hurt my confidence.

Something else, everybody in this world is talented. You just got to findout where you talent lies. Dabbling in a lot of things is probably why you think you don't have talent, cos you've done so many things and yet you cant find what your good at. Pursue one/ two things for an extended period oftime, learn to enjoy it and then see the difference.

Let me be a little morehelpful on that one... you can't sing - because you haven't trained your voice. Writing- your good at it. Playing the guitar- i haven't heard you play it, so i don't know. Acting- your giving it a go, lets see. Photography- from what i've learnt from Jer about how to judge a good picture, i think you have potential. Athletics - i think you have a lot of potential there, you could have become a great sportsman, you have the determination, the training was what you lacked. If you pursued that, you probably might have ended up in a ivy league uni. These are just a fewexamples (you can use this to build up your confidence) and im no expert on these subjects.

You haven't learnt everything you know, you possible can't, if you did, then you must be god.

Nervousness is good. If you think you'll stick out like a sore thumb, always shout out a warning to the others saying "i haven't done this before, soplease correct me if im doing something wrong". People would like you foryour honesty.

Stage fright and magic

2006-01-08T18:25:00.000+06:00

The Merchant of Venice

One of the things I admire about myself is that I like to dabble in a number of things that come my way. But what I don’t like about myself is that in a few instances I do not follow through with it. For instance, I began to learn origami, I began to play in a band (I did this for a couple of years), I began to write poetry, I began travelling, I began to play the flute, I began to enjoy being involved in theatre, began swimming, photography etc. etc.

Sometimes I end up feeling like it’s enough to have done it. Like I am collecting these experiences like people collect stamps on their passports. Other times I feel like I wish I had persevered in it a bit more. I wish I perfected one thing all the way.
Things might have been a bit easier if I had found a partner in many instances. Some one who could push me as much I as I push him. But this is just an excuse.

Theatre has fascinated me from the moment I was dragged to watch the local production of Lion King. I have tried my hand at acting and backstage. They have all been amazing experiences. I have so enjoying being with the cast and crew and being a part of a production that I have told myself that I will get involved at every opportunity that presents it self.

An opportunity did present it self on Friday when sunshine asked me if I wanted to take part in the merchant and come for a rehearsal on Sunday. Now that an opportunity did come my way I was not sure that I wanted it :(

I am quite scared and nervous at the prospect of making a fool in front of a number of people. Its not that I have stage fear, it’s more a fear of being embarrassed. Fear of my own lack of ability that I think I have. Lack of confidence must be the root cause of all this. I have never been given much encouragement at anything I do. It’s always been done out of my sheer will power. No one has told me that I have done a great job. No one has been a mentor for me. I have learned to be my own mentor. Also, most of the things I have done have not required me to be at par with people of real talent. I have never been born with talent. I don’t think I have any. I have learnt everything that I know. So when I am placed in a group of really talented people, I fear that I will stick out like a sore thumb.

I’m very grateful that sunshine was there and even more grateful that she gave me the opportunity. So I decided to make the most if it. The words of Michael rang in my ear. Any one can act.

So act I did. I acted as if I knew what I was doing. I acted as if I was not really nervous. And as usual, being in the company of such great people, I was not nervous.

In fact the only thing that made me nervous was the fact that I was given lines to perform. Was the director - Feroze (of stage light and magic) mad?

He asked me to read a passage from the script. He said that it wasn’t too bad. Then he gave me a part to act out in a scene. I was the dude (‘B’ something) who needed the money from Shylock. Holy hell! It was a lead part I was given. I have never said more than a word on stage. And here I have lines to read. Shakespears lines. Lines that require me to read them at least a dozen times before I even understand them. I have to by-heart lines. I have to sing a solo. Feroze must be mad. I must be mad. I felt like telling him “dude, I have never acted in my life. I don’t know what has come over you to put me in a major role. It’s not funny” I came here with the expectation that I would be backstage and out of sight. But this is crazy. I’m sure he is only trying me out though, until a better actor comes along.

I now have to go for rehearsals Wednesday nigh to Feroze’s house! He is mad! This also means a major commitment from me. If the play is gonna be in September, that means that till then, I will have to devote myself to the play. My weekends would be screwed. I might not get the chance to begin my studies. I would love to do a small role though. It would be such magic.

Story telling

2006-01-03T22:26:00.000+06:00

On a different topic...this is the very first article that i have written. I'm kinda proud of it. I really relate to the topic and i'm glad i gave myself a chance to explore it. My only problem is that i think that some of the words are not mine entirely. They have been borrowed, as have the examples (not all though). I need a bit more experience, before i write something that i am really proud about i guess...

Any comments on the article and topic are welcome...

Looking at a glass bottle won’t really inspire you to imagine anything extraordinary about it. Now imagine how you would look at it if you knew that this bottle was discovered in the 2000 year old ruins of Pompeii.

This is the power of a story. The ability to make the mundane and ordinary in our lives ‘extra’ ordinary. Imagine this same power if unleashed in our brand building efforts.

A story cannot be confined to the narratives or drama’s that we have been hearing since our childhood. Stories are fundamental to our day to day social conversations; think how we delight in a yarn well spun, a joke or a snippet of gossip.

Stories manifest themselves in every facet of our lives, from the interactive Video Games, Reality TV shows to compelling TV commercials. In fact stories form the fabric of our very existence. “The universe is made of stories, not atoms" said poet Murial Rukeyser, referring to the power of the narrative. Their power lies in the fact that it pulls us into a world in which we might place ourselves, both literally and imaginatively. A world where we can be anyone we want to be. A world in which we write our own script. So our reality or life really exists in the ‘story space’ that we create for ourselves. Our childhood was filled with games where we pretend to be Superman or Indiana Jones. Even though the characters have changed, we are still pretending to play a role in our story.

Stories become a parody of life, which we use to share our experiences, mistakes &learning’s to a wider audience without fear. Universal themes such as the nature of strength and weakness, of success and failure and ultimately the meaning we place on life and death can be safely broached, and the range of emotions from laughter, through sadness and fear safely experienced.

The American Way of Life is a powerful story, which includes everything from principles like freedom and the pursuit of happiness, to stories of cowboys and rags-to-riches heroes, to metaphors like the melting pot and the safety net, to images like the Statue of Liberty and the flag. It is communicated by movies, men in business suits, advertisements, college catalogues, and mall displays -- among many, many other things. It takes immense effort to resist or change it. Anyone or anything which doesn't live within this ocean of a story and move with its currents doesn't seem quite American.

The marketing implication

Thinking of brands as a story moves us beyond using mere adjectives to define them. We could use rich words such as iconoclastic, crusading, rebellious and charismatic. However I could say ‘Robin Hood’ and we would immediately picture the archetypal hero, attaching those same values of champion for the underdog, to the brand. Stories manage to capture our inner most emotions cutting across all boundaries such as age, gender country reflecting our inner most tensions, anxieties, excitement and joy as Harry Potter does for example.

Rolph Jensen, the man who predicted the evolution of the current information society to the ‘dream society’ illustrates the power of a story through the example of a wrist watch. “What is the difference between a cheap watch and highly priced one? Both tell the correct time. The answer is that a watch is no longer a watch; it also bespeaks a lifestyle. We are not paying for a devise to tell us the time, but we are paying for the story – the story about who we are, how we tell this to ourselves and to the other people around us”. This is borne out in Seiko's recent advertising campaign with the endline 'It's your watch that says most about who you are'.
Suddenly advertising seems to be less about selling and more about vivid story telling. Our biggest challenge then would seem to be finding a way to make our product play a part in the story space of our consumers.

With the bombardment of so many messages, choices and products, consumers are looking for something fresh. They now want brand stories that allow them freedom to imagine and interact, that 'connect' with them socially as well as emotionally.

The story gives a company a competitive edge. Allowing the differentiation of 2 companies in the same category to appear as The Masculine man (Thumb Up) and the Regular Guy (Coke). We buy into the story of the brand and the opportunity to become part of that story. So, we buy Nike sports shoes, but not just because they offer a performance benefit. We are also buying a story rooted in the history of sporting endeavour, and a chance to join the gods of sporting prowess. Similarly, Harley–Davidson doesn't just sell motorbikes, but the story of you as a Hell's Angel on the wide, open roads of America … even if you live somewhere completely different.
Ex: Selfridge’s Executive Director, V. Radice described his store as a 'theatre' to entertain his customers. He has invited famous celebrities and performing artists to that end. His store is described as a place where visitors can acquire a rich emotional experience, and where the product takes on its 'true' role as something that is purchased because it is the manifestation of an emotion.

So we need to be working hard to tap into the collective imagination, to sell not merely products, but ideas, aspirations and experiences that allow our 'creative collaborators' (formerly 'consumers') to express their individuality, and to evolve, create and refine dreams they feel to be their own.

We are moving towards a new era where it won't be the latest technology or newest product, but the story behind the product that will provide the competitive edge. Consumers will pay for the story that sparks the imagination, that reflects how they see themselves and how they want others to see them; and that provides emotional wealth when material wealth is increasingly commonplace. What this means is that not only do we have to continue to create ideas that inspire enduring belief, we have create vivid stories around them to help reach the hearts of our consumers.

Advertising Cases for further reference

MINI
The Mini is a case in point for a promotion based on the power of a story. It’s all about the story around the Mini Adventure. Where the car is portrayed as the symbol of independence and individuality.
The campaign talks to the child in the adult, and invites one to be included in a fun and adventurous world, where online and telephone encounters feel more like 'play' than being sold to. A pre-delivery 3D postcard lets you know that your car is just being polished and will be with you on a certain date, whereon you open the owners manual (more like a photo album of funky pictures of the Mini in various locations and poses) and actually find yourself reading it and smiling:
'So you did it. You went for it, tickled your fancy, took the plunge… Yes, you and your new mini are together at last. And now that you are together, it's time for the real fun to begin …You and your MINI.
Live happily ever after. The End.

Guinness
The Guinness advertising evokes an epic atmosphere to arouse our imagination and bombard us with symbolic tidal waves, mythical horses or raw and primal archetypes of masculinity. Their 'story' is not in any sense predictable because it is not speaking to the conscious mind. One is not 'told' what to think, or feel or how to respond, but rather experiences a connection and responds automatically.
The storyteller allows us to explore 'what is' or what 'might be' in the safe but fertile realms of our own imagination.

References:
Once upon a time, there was a brand: Lucia Rolli and Fiona Jack
You can keep your dream. I want to live in the real world: Market Research Society Conference 2005

A Hitch Hikers Guide to travelling in India – the land of my forefathers.

2006-01-03T22:17:00.000+06:00

India. The worlds largest democracy, the 6th largest country in the world AND one of the most ancient and living civilizations (at least 10,000 years old!) The most fascinating and inspiring country I will ever have the opportunity to visit. I began with some misgivings, having heard numerous stories of poverty, overcrowding, slums, traffic, stink, pollution, noise and much worse. It certainly was all of this and more. Hell, the first view of the country as you fly into Mumbai is a sea of slums just behind the airport.

BUT there was so much more. Exciting enough to drown out or overpower the bad. For instance, the stink couldn’t hide the of the wonderful aroma food. Along with the overcrowding came the amazing cultural and people diversity. Along with the poverty came the will, determination and ambition of these folk to succeed.

What follows are some insights into this amazing country.
# 1: India cannot be seen. It has to be experienced. You have to immerse yourself in the land, culture, traditions, food and people. I was on a vegetarian diet for about 20 days, drinking masala chai and camel milk, travelling by camel, horse and bicycle carriage, buses & trains (that seemed to be right out of the Fevicol ad) sleeping in dorms and even out in the open and more.

# 2: Do not underestimate the Indians. This is a country that has the second largest working population in the world. There are 1000’s of people dying for each others job. They are all at the very top of their ball game. Even though their looks may deceive you, as it did me.

# 3: Everything is big. Travelling from, say Jaipur to Agra may be only 221 km - 4.5 hours away, but this is a couple of km short of the full breadth of Sri Lanka.

It is no easy task to explore India. It has a population 54 times that of SL, with an area so large that 50 SL’s can fit in and with 14 official languages and about 15,000 more. There is so much to see and experience that one lifetime (or 2 months) is certainly not enough.

This is something that i wrote for my office newsletter

If anyone is going to India...pls bring me one of the below...i'll pay

2006-01-03T22:16:00.000+06:00

Wish list from India
Osho Slippers
Jeera Masala
Khadi shirts
Icchar
Casual kurta’s
Books (MAD Comics among others)
Belts (leather or cloth)
Shawl
Local Music

Food i'm gonna try and make

2006-01-03T22:15:00.000+06:00

Masala tea
Poah (squashed boiled rice mixed with a bit of sugar, chilli, onions and garnished with Sev.)
Bhatti and Churma (same atta used for making Bajra Rotti)
Sweet Potatoes left in the hot ashes of camp fire.
Pakora (Channa atta, chillie, haldi, spice powder, onions and green chillies that are all mixed into a paste and then fried)
Corn in Masala
Badaam milk
Chillie paste with garlic, onion and tomatoes
Rotti – the normal kind as well as the Bajra kind
Watermelon seed bites
Tandoori paneer Masala (I loved the paneer in India)
Dhungar the food
Puri with food instead of rotti
Ice gola made with a wood shaver
Gring jeeru for Masala soda
Curry powders

Have i changed?

2006-01-03T22:13:00.000+06:00

I have become pushier. If I want something, I will ask people for it. I will less and less wait for things to happen and instead make them happen.

Every problem has a way around it. There are always other options. This applies to any situation. I love the fact that I could improvise to solve any problem I had.

I have seen people, dance, music, history of another land. This has opened my mind and made me appreciate much more the world and everything that’s beautiful in it.

I love India. I love Rajasthan more.
I
lost weight, then gained again.

I realised how much my parents meant to me. I realised how important family was.

My bargaining skills have improved

Some advice to the brave

2006-01-03T22:12:00.000+06:00

Advice to fellow travellers:

Always head for an information counter. Get maps. Ask for recommendation of on a place to stay. The best place to eat and what to eat. The best and easiest route to cover all the touristy sites. Even where to get a bicycle for hire.

When travelling, make sure you get to the next destination with enough time to find a place to stay.

Never take tri-shaws from near train or bus stations

Never let a tempo guy take you to a place to stay. He always gets a commission and because of that the room rate you have to pay is more. (Find out from others where to go and go directly there no matter what the tempo guy says.)

Never shop from the shops near touristy sites. Always ask for the market or the best place to buy xyz products.

The best places to go are the untouristy places. Walking the streets, looking for places to catch the sunrise and sunset, the inside roads, the small tea shops etc.

Don’t become too friendly or trust the locals. Always keep in mind that most people are out to get your money.

Carry a notebook and a camera and tell people that you’re a student.

Find out what time the Check out is at the Hotel. For most it is the morning about 10.00 am. The best is when you have the place for 24 hours.

When taking a tempo make sure that you negotiate for him to drop you at the doorstep of the place you want to go to. If you can, find out from the locals how much roughly a tempo would take to take you there before you get in.

Buy the local News paper and keep up with local events and happenings. It also gives you something to read and other useful uses.

Don’t piss the locals off…

Try and blend in

Some more advice to the brave

2006-01-03T22:08:00.000+06:00

Advice to fellow travellers:

Always head for an information counter. Get maps. Ask for recommendation of on a place to stay. The best place to eat and what to eat. The best and easiest route to cover all the touristy sites. Even where to get a bicycle for hire.

When travelling, make sure you get to the next destination with enough time to find a place to stay.

Never take tri-shaws from near train or bus stations

Never let a tempo guy take you to a place to stay. He always gets a commission and because of that the room rate you have to pay is more. (Find out from others where to go and go directly there no matter what the tempo guy says.)

Never shop from the shops near touristy sites. Always ask for the market or the best place to buy xyz products.

The best places to go are the untouristy places. Walking the streets, looking for places to catch the sunrise and sunset, the inside roads, the small tea shops etc.

Don’t become too friendly or trust the locals. Always keep in mind that most people are out to get your money.

Carry a notebook and a camera and tell people that you’re a student.

Find out what time the Check out is at the Hotel. For most it is the morning about 10.00 am.

The best is when you have the place for 24 hours.

When taking a tempo make sure that you negotiate for him to drop you at the doorstep of the place you want to go to. If you can, find out from the locals how much roughly a tempo would take to take you there before you get in.

Buy the local News paper and keep up with local events and happenings. It also gives you something to read and other useful uses.

Don’t piss the locals off…

Try and blend in

Some advise on travelling by camels

2006-01-03T22:04:00.000+06:00

Tips to fellow camel riders

The guy behind the desk doesn’t really have any control. Over what camel you ride so requests like making sure the guide has his own camel etc. won’t really be passed down. The guy to speak on that is the local that comes with you in the jeep.

Insist that you want a guide that has his own camel

Go when the moon is at its fullest. It’s magical.

Make sure that you get to control your won camel and also run. (running was the one thing I could not fully do)

When controlling the camel always speak to it. Continuously speak to it. Sing songs to it. They very easily forget that there is a rider sitting on their back and then do what ever please them.

Trust the camel. You are only a guide. He knows the way better than you do. This is a tough one

Take the food you want if you want any special goodies.

Travel light. Blankets etc. are not really necessary.

450/- is the price I paid and that’s damn good. But bring additional to pay the guide. Buying him a gift is not worth. If you want to bring gifts, bring beedi’s or liquor for him. But he will most prefer money.

Avoid giving things to the villagers even if the cutest girl in the world asks for anything.

You can go see Dhanni directly. Take a chance and go to his village of Kotri. Busses leave from Hanuman Circle at 3.30

My apologies

2006-01-03T22:02:00.000+06:00

For those who go through the trouble of visiting my blog, my apologies to them for the size of the last entry. I know its long. its more of a personal account of my travels. I few more things i want to say regarding my travels in the next couple of posts, but i promise they will not be as long...

Someone pls tell me how to upload pics onto this site.

Hitchhikers guide to india (this is really long)

2006-01-03T21:45:00.000+06:00

Excerpts from the journal of a restless traveller

“the joy of travelling is not having a destination to arrive to”

4th of November to the 23rd of November 2005

These have been the most memorable and amazing experiences of my life.

There are just too many memories, places, experiences and people I have met to write about it. It is just too overwhelming. It is a task that I do not think I can undertake.
But what I will attempt to do is give you a snapshot of a few highlights and memories of my tour.
For further information and travelling advice and tips please do not hesitate to contact me on murtazais@gmail.com

Total duration: 18 days
Total states visited: Maharashtra, Gujarat, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh and Delhi

I can't show the cost break down by city but the total cost (includes extra shopping of pants, shirt, and shoes.) was 7315 INR

Average spend per day 400/- INR
SL rate for 1 INR was approx 2.4

The planning stage
Arun back at Leo had mentioned camel safari and Rajasthan. For some reason the place stuck in my head although I did not know too much about it prior to actually visiting the place. The other option that I explored was Jammu and Kashmir. The thought of seeing snow for the very first time and trekking in the mountains was very exciting.
When was I checked the internet to book my train tickets (which were an amazing breeze), I realised that I was running out of time for making my decision. The ticket was booked o the 18th of October. There were just a few seats left! If I had waited another day, I wouldn’t have got a seat at all and would have got delayed. Up until the last moment I was undecided about where to go. Kashmir had a tourist infor office at the World Trade Centre in Mumbai, but they were not of any real valuable help. Only gave me a book of packages. Also the tour places I called up were not flexible enough to provide me with what I wanted i.e. a hiking route for a lone traveller through Kashmir. Also what swayed me towards Rajasthan was an absolutely amazing website with all the information I could want. Even better than that was a chat room on 24 hours call to answer queries and give advice. That just about sold me on the state.
Having made the decision, I decided on the places that I wanted to touch base at. I skipped Mount Abu because it sounded very touristy. The Lonely Planet….my bible also played a big role here. I knew that I had to finish up on the 21st to Delhi so I worked backwards. I also knew that I would want to spend the most amount of time in Jaiselmer if I could find myself on a Camel. If not, I would explore elsewhere.
I was also advised to go to the Taj Mahal as I would be so close to it. I did not intend to try and go there, because I was told that it had become extremely touristy and commercialised, but since I was in the vicinity, I thought I’d do it anyway. I was also told to stop by at Ahmedabad and do Zayarat (pilgrimage) as it was on the way and make the most of that opportunity.
I did not worry at all about places to stay. Prior to departure, I had gone to a travel Agent in Mumbai representing the Rajasthan tourist office (as the building the office was at in fort had collapsed) – Tanishq Travels and Tours. They had helped my by giving me a list of RTDC hotels and the places that would have dorms which would cost around 50/-
I had decided to be as free wheeling as possible. Sleep on the buses (travelling in the night) as much as possible.

In preparing what to take, I had my hiking bag (gotten from House of Fashion for SLR 1200/-), my pouch, and a sling bag.
In the Haversack...
- I put in (with a bit of hesitation) Paren and Sayo – for use in Ahmedabad.
- An extra (long sleeved) shirt I put in at the last moment – which were all the clothes I had apart from my black longs and shirt.
- Cap and sunny’s.
- Jacket, blanket and thick woolly socks.
- Water bottle,
- In the side pockets, medicine (Vitamin C, a couple of panadols, a couple of tablets for shitting, plasters). Vicks Balm, Samahan tooth brush, Wintogeno, Rubber bands, a small bottle of liquid soap, a couple of shampoo sachets, a couple of sachets of liquid soap for washing clothes (which were never used) and my phone charger.
- I had taken with me 6 film rolls (bought 3 more on the way)
- A few very small disposable hankies, toilet paper that I had unrolled to save space, a couple of underwear and a very small towel.

In the belt pouch I had my journal, wallet, sunny’s and my survival kit.
In the sling bag had the lonely planet and camera. Had the passport too.
My money was divided thus:
- 3 thousand in cash (of which 1000 was in the haversack)
- 1 TC in the sling bag
- 1 TC in the haversack

Health
I was never seriously ill except for a cold that accompanied me most of the way and head aches if I did not eat. A thorn (as strong as an iron went in right thru my nail in Jodhpur). I had a bit of nose bleed. It was kinda bad when I reached Delhi in the night; I guess it had to do with the cold.
I used to apply balm on my chest and nose, Wintogeno in my back and feet and knees almost every night. I also tried to take a Vitamin C tablet everyday in the morning.

The Train Journey
I had boarded at about 10.30 pm. On the 4th of November. The only thing to do was get comfortable on my berth and sleep through the night. The best berth to sleep on is the upper. They had my name printed out and stuck on the train near the entrance. That seemed so cool. Tip. Always keep your bag close to with the zip facing inward and keep it on the opposite side of the corridor. This is so that people who try to steal it would have a harder (though not impossible) task of stealing it.
It is fascinating watching everyone and the world waking up. What woke me and most other up was the incessant calling of the Chai walla’s and the other food vendors. The food was amazing, but a bit monotonous after a while. Nothing substantial, but still better than our local Wadai’s. They also have people selling 1/- water sachets, Poun bhaji, singh, etc. Even basic fried dhal is never sold plain. They always add masala. They also have masala tea. It is very interesting chatting with people, and I learned that they become more interested to know that you are a foreigner, but can still converse in Hindi. But this area is Gujarat, so most of the people were speaking Gujrati. Such a powerful feeling to know that you can understand (roughly) what they are saying.
The kids here eat Badaam (almonds) like most other kids would eat toffees. No wonder they are so strong. It’s meant to be brain food.
As the day progressed, the train get more and more crowded. I got the perfect seat at the emergency exit; cuz the window doesn’t have metal grills. The only problem is that people getting in and out use this as a short cut to get themselves and their luggage in. The crowd became so bad that every seat that would normally seat 1 person seated 2. Berths are given up during the day. So my berth seat was not mine during the day. What smart people did was to climb up there and stretch out. Then they go to sleep or at least pretend to, so that they can keep the entire seat to themselves.
Tip: watch out for Hijra’s. They can be annoying if they pick on you…but otherwise quite entertaining. The 1st impression I had and one which never left was how huge the land looked and even felt.
Tip: Never take a tempo (tri-shaw) from a train or bus station. They charge pretty close to almost double.
Night 1 was spent lying down on a mattress with about 30 others in a big hall. I had 3 meals and quite a good time there.

Ahmedabad:
This city is split into 2 by the river. The old city is one side, with the new on the other.
There is quite a lot to see and I think I made the right decision in hiring a tempo to take me around.
Had a hair cut here, because lengthy hair is a no no while travelling. It was at this time and this very city in which Sri Lanka were playing their cricket match and loosing the series very badly. I’ve always had amazing and interesting conversations with the locals. What was very interesting was that with my hair cut I also get a face wash and massage with moisturiser to complete it. Temperature becomes chilly the moment the sun sets. It’s a bit like Kandy now. But can manage without the jacket.
The next day went on my tour. Began at 8.00 and completed at about 3 with a very late lunch. The guy probably never expected me to spend so much time at each location. There was quite a lot packed in. 9 religious sites and about 16 other interest sites. I made sure that I knew where we were going and kept checking with him and ticking them off to ensure we went every where. Again lonely planet to the rescue. If not, he would have mumbled out a number of locations and taken me to only a handful of places.
Along the way he also took me to the bus stand to get a ticket to Udaipur. I got a ticket straight from the RTDC stand instead of a travel agent. This left me with the impression that the public busses are cheaper. This was not really the case all over. But I used the public buses most of time because they were more responsible, on time and probably trustable.
The tour cost me 400/-
Unfortunately my first bus experience was an awful one. I had bought the 11.00 night ticket… or so I thought. I made myself nicely comfortable in the seat and then someone comes and says that the seat is there’s. The office tells me that I have got a ticket for 11 am, instead of pm. The fools. This is also the last bus. After a bit of letting off steam, the conductor tells me to get on anyway. I won’t get a seat, but at least I’ll get to Udaipur. So I’m at the back of the bus and I make myself pretty comfortable on the floor. There’s a narrow space in the aisle that I lie down on. After a bit of time, something extremely solid makes a loud bang as it hits something. I realise that the something is my head. After that realisation, the pain hits me and I am shaken and quite stirred for a while wondering what the hell just happened to me. A metal container fell from the luggage rack onto my head. The lady who owned it was very sorry and even offered to malish (massage) my head. She had a couple of kids. Noisy. Before I could lie down in my narrow space, she put one of the kids down there. So I had no choice but to squeeze myself with the kid. Squashing the poor fellow in the process.

Udaipur
Landed at 4.30 am. Was freezing. Like Hatton in the morning. Found out that I really didn’t have to book the bus in advance. In all my travelling, coming a couple of hours early to the stand was quite good enough.
Used what I thought was a popular landmark and began walking towards it. I learned that for someone who does not have a problem walking (like me – because, I would walk an average of about 10 km a day) the distances were not all that far. Even for a place that people say is at the other end of the town, it is walkable. You only have to make the decision of whether or not you can afford to spend the energy to walk all the way there.
I tried to time my travels so that I reach every city at about this time in the morning. Then I always made it a point to get to the highest location and catch the sunrises. They were absolutely always amazing and worth it and something I recommend every traveller to try and do.
What was amazing about this place was that more than the typical locations such as the City Palace, the Baag, Moti Magri to which everyone’s goes (I did too), it was more amazing to walk the side streets. I walked along each and every street I could find. It was amazing because they were narrow. Tiny. Wide enough for 2 bicycles at the most. The walls all had colourful paintings. There was Rangoli on a lot of the doors. I followed the newspaper man and the milk man as they did their rounds. Eventually I found my way down to Lake Pichola. Here the locals come and bathe themselves, their utensils and their clothes. Feed the pigeons; get ready for work or school. It was wonderful witnessing all this. In the morning after breakfast I was at a loss as to what to do next. Should I go sight seeing or find a place to stay? Found myself in a bhora district and on a whim asked a bhori if there was a mosque close by. Not knowing what I would do if there was one close by or even if I would go there. He said that there was a musafar khana that I could go to and there I would even find a place to stay and eat. After getting directions to that place I went sight seeing.
My load seemed so much more lighter every time I made a plan. Usually the plan was only as long term as the night. But it still made the day seem much better having a plan. I would go to Moti Magri…a hill a bit of a distance away and tire myself out if I have to….because I knew that I had a comfortable place to stay. I also would have a fall back option in case of an emergency which was to find the RTDC hotel. But I found out later that these places were quite expensive and hardly ever had dorms.
The other amazing thing that I did was to find a really amazing place to watch the sunset. I have become such a fan of these. Then after this I went for a cultural evening. Experienced dance and music that I have never before. It was so wonderful, I cannot describe it in words.
I realised what a huge advantage I have. I let people assume I am Indian. This gets me into places other people cannot. But more importantly gets me at a cheaper price. Sometimes the difference I save is enormous.
Learning the story about a historical artefact or location makes the object come alive. So I learnt to follow guides. If there is a tour group ahead of me, sometimes I become part of that group (never staying with the same group for long). I usually have my note book out and follow them around. Get amazing tips and save a hell of a lot of money.
There are two ways of viewing these buildings. Either you can just immerse yourself in them and guess what everything means or you can search for the story. I think both are cool. The story brings things to life.
Another thing I learned is that having the camera out can be a disadvantage at times. But a camera and a notebook is a super cool thing. People think you’re a reporter or what better is that people think you’re a student. Sometimes I went around pretending to be an art student.
I feel so sorry for the donkeys I see. They are usually slave driven doing hard work. On road construction for example they are seen carrying heavy loads of rocks. They are the typical Eeyore. Head down seemingly taking all the punishment people give them. The height of their servitude must be the way they are coloured in fantastically bright colours.
I also realised that I would never ever travel in a package tour. They absolutely eat into your appreciation time of things. Herding you from sight to sight without ever letting you appreciate things.

NOTE FOR JUGDISH> JUG MEANS WHOLE> AND DISH MEANS UNIVERSE> SO JAGDISH MEANS RULER OF THR UNIVERSE>

Jodhpur
Had slept in the bus and arrived here at 4.30 am. Here Sojati gate was my very friendly landmark. Walked and took a tempo here. From here walked inside towards what I learned people called the fort…ie killa. Was walking through the narrow streets of the market. Everything was still dark and closed. Was only about 15 – 20 minute walk although people had predictably said that it was a long walk.
The Killa was atop a hill. There was a Frenchman who was also there to greet the sunrise. And what a sunrise it was. Breathtaking. Amazing. The blue of the city. The golden fort. Another thing that I learned to do was get friendly with the tempo guys near these sights, because they would give me a great list of the sights. But more than that, they would give you the order of things you should see. And the locations and how to get there. That’s what important to find out, otherwise I would get lost and waste precious time trying to get from one place to another haphazardly.
Another thing that I used to do was always ask people what the speciality in food was. Because every place that I went to was famous for some kind of unique food item and the place to get them from. The delicacies of Jhodpur were the Kishori’s especially the mawa one.
Went on a horse carriage. These are not tourist attractions like I initially thought, but actual means of transport that the locals used. And so it was bloody cheap and fun experience.
The amazing thing about travelling in Rajasthan is the information they provide tourists. Each city has a tourist office. They provide you with maps directions, places to stay tours, etc. etc and answer any questions you have. Most are very helpful. This one recommended youth hostel and dorms. He also told me how to get a bicycle. So this is what I went and did next. Got a cycle. It was a good ting I had a photocopy of the passport, cuz that is what the guy asked for as security. I thought that I could easily run away with it and not loose anything. It cost me 35/- and I had to return it 24 hours later. It was good that I got the cycle. Had to get used to cycle with the bag and the crowded streets. Knee was giving me pains; thankfully not so much the back and I thought that I lost my Wintogeno. Colourful people, all over. In the evening I went to the heart of the old city going round and round in circles until I felt that I would never come out. I was looking for this particular sunset spot that no one seemed to know too well. The streets were such a maze that at each time i had to ask for directions. I was late for the sunset, but hung around there for a couple of hours.
Then I went looking for the youth hostel. That also took some time, cuz I couldn’t remember the directions too well and kept asking people for the YMCA. A night at the youth hostel cost me 60. Met some professors there and had very deep discussions with them. About Buddhism, about the power of stories and how through stories culture and traditions are carried from generation to generation. What love is, how it works, how language works. They were fun too. I could have listened and hoped that they would go on all night. I got the biggest compliment ever. One guy who couldn’t speak English (some one translated it for me) asked me what I had learnt was the difference between our 2 countries and the people. He listened to me and then said that he didn’t think I was a tourist. I was more than a tourist. He said that he could sense that at the back of my head was a quest to understand, learn, seek and experience.
After a night and 1 ½ days in Udaipur I went to Salawas. I asked the guy at the tourist desk if there was a village I could go to see the culture and experience rural life. He said that he would make a call to a friend and if I wanted to could go tomorrow. Gave me a number and some basic directions. I decided to go for it.
While looking for the bus to Salawas got a bit delayed because there was a huge fire in the row of Nepalese jacket sellers. So the roads had got a bit blocked. I got out of that area fast because the fire was quite close to a petrol pump.

Salawas
If you’re looking for the perfect location to get the rural village experience, this is it.
Not far away from Jhodpur (only about 35km away), but far enough to feel like your on the moon. The roads here are dusty; and there seems to be more goats than people.
Most of the people in the town square were clustered under large trees discussing, what I assume to be village politics, over an afternoon cup of tea.
Getting here was quite a breeze. An hour’s ride from town, though the bus stand is about a km away from the train station. You can get a bus from either the Olympic or Rotary Circle and the ticket costs Rs. 9 or Rs.10. It got pretty crowded pretty fast (remember that the last bus leaves at around 5.00 pm). That itself was a fun experience. The locals speaking in their colourful language, wearing their colourful attire…both the ladies with their Ghargra Cholies and the men in white with fascinating turbans. In addition, most men possess large moustaches and studded ears. Everyone seems to know everyone and I felt very much the outsider. As soon as the bus left the town limits, it stopped and about half the crowd got down before it started up again. I wondered why the men were all leaving the bus, until I saw their Mojri clad feet hanging down from the roof. Felt like I was in the Fevicol ad.
As soon as I reached town, I contacted Phukraj from a local shop who happened to have a phone. Luckily for me, Phukraj was well known and the shopman was kind enough to save from embarrassment and spoke on my behalf (when he saw me struggling with my Hindi). I went across the street to drink a cup of tea. I had become quite the village attraction. The tea man was the privileged one who could ask me who I was and from where I had come. He was thrilled to know that I was from Sri Lanka and could speak Hindi.
I was picked up by a young man. He could speak Hindi and a very basic English. He took me the 1 km or so to Phukraj’s home on his motorbike. He introduced himself as Chotu, Phukraj’s eldest son.
Once at home, I was given quite a warm welcome and a very hot cup of Masala Tea. I felt right at home. The children are as fascinated of me as I am of them. I am quite impressed that they are learning English and tried my best to teach them what I could. They were very interested in seeing me scribble in my diary.
Phukraj and Dariya have six children who are (from youngest to eldest) Asoka (4 years old), Om Prakass, Mamta, Sambu Ram, Geeta, and finally the eldest, Chotu (21 years old). Geeta is married.
I was given the choice of mineral water or well water. I chose the latter because I figured that if they do not fall sick, I also won’t. We also discussed the meal arrangements. I decided that I will have 2 meals with them, preferring to have breakfast in town.
I spent the rest of the evening talking to and getting to know the 4 kids, learning about the carpet making and relaxing. The night became very chilly but I was made comfortable. They prepared an amazing meal of Chappati’s, and Khaddi for me.
I had a small hut for myself which was actually Chotu’s room. They brought in an extra Bistar (bed) and made a very comfortable ‘nest’ for me to sleep in. The night air was chilly, but comfortable.
The next day chute my guide took me for a long walk to a nearby rocky outcrop to witness the sunrise. The land is barren, but beautiful. Along the way, we stopped to feed the pigeons. A very sacred and dutiful act. Coming back we visited a few Muslim families and I experienced pottery making first hand. Chotu dropped me at town for breakfast of Jalebi. This is quite unexpected because I usually only have this as a dessert. Before going back home, I helped Chotu with one of his chores. We went one of the many families making carpets and brought some with us.
One of the neighbours of Phukraj runs a small workshop making small oil lamps. These are the most unique that I have ever seen. It is made in a very unique and secret way so that any oil that is poured in through a small hole at the bottom will not fall out once turned the right way round.
I helped mum walk the buffaloes in the afternoon, tried my hand at a bit of carpet weaving and even helped gather peanuts from their field. In the evening Chotu dropped me off at the bus stand so that I could catch the 5 pm bus.
Visiting Phukraj is the ideal rural experience. He is flexible enough to be ableto accommodate 10 people, or even a single. In addition to giving his guests the opportunity to live with him, he can organise camel safaris for 150/- (without meals). There have been many satisfied guests from all around the world including Canada, Malaysia, Australia, UK and even Israel.
The best time to visit is between October and February. Salawas is a small town with only about 10,000 people in the village, though I hardly saw more than a 100 in our vicinity.
There is even something for the naturalist. I spotted a Eurasian Hoopoe close to our home.

The carpet industry of Salawas.

Durry weaving in Salawas is more than a 50 year old industry. Originally the Maharajah of Jodhpur – Gajaraj Singh – assisted the family though now the government plays a crucial role in supporting the Durry weavers. Now this is a blossoming cottage industry supporting many families in the village. A large number of families in the village pool their skill, resources and time to make the carpets. Phukraj has been weaving carpets for the last 35 years now. His expertise and skill have made the Salawas carpets famous and unique all over India. The thread used is the famous Rajesthani cotton although upon request the carpets can be made from goat, camel or sheep wool as well. The designs are a myriad of wonderful and bright patterns, all unique and all stored in the heads of the designers.
The carpets are made of a unique interlocking system that means that they are really strong. The weaving is so tight that water does not seep through at all. Another advantage of this style is that the pattern exists on both sides of the carpet.

Pukhraj Prajapat
Durry Udhyog, Durry Weaver
Kum Haron ki Dhani,
Near Gosala
Post - Salawas
Dist – Jodhpur 342804
Rajesthan
India
Tel: 0291-2696744 or 94147-20724

Ram Devra

Decided to try the train. Again was extremely impressed by the service Rajasthan offers tourists. They have a comfortable waiting room with someone to help tourists at the station with information. Here I decided to not go directly to Jaiselmer, but stop by at this famous city called Ram Devra’s. I was recommended to go here by Phukraj. Apparently it is a pilgrimage site visited by both Hindu’s and Muslims. Was lucky to get a berth, even though it was hard and uncomfortable. The train was filled with army personnel. One of these guys had even come to Sri Lanka on a mission to fight the LTTE. The toughest part was waking up and getting off the train at 3.00 am. I was very proud of the fact that I got up in time and forced myself out of the berth. It was biting cold.
Just outside the station, in anticipation for the pilgrims a number of tea and food shops had put out little bonfires that were very irrisistable in the cold morning air. This naturally was a hook to get people to their shop and patronise it.
I decided to walk up to the temple. It was absolutely and shockingly unimpressive. What was worse was that it would only open at 5.00. So I had to stand outside the door with an increasingly large crowd gathering outside. There was an interesting bunch of musicians seated playing devotional music which was about the only interesting and time pass thing there was to do.
I didn’t wait to see the temple open and decided to find out what time and how I could get to Jaiselmer. The few local shop keepers who had just begun to open their stores said that the first bus would leave only at 9.00. I had a lot of time to kill and nothing to do. What I did was to find a clean and quite corner behind the main road at the market, to sleep. I spread some newspapers and made myself quite comfortable bed to sleep in. I remember waking up around 7 and a local Chai wala telling me to not worry and go back to sleep, that there was still much time left for the bus to come.
The morning was my first view of the dessert. Being in this city meant that I was finally in the dessert. I was half expecting rolling dunes of sand but what I saw was a dry, brown, flat, hard, dusty and arid landscape with a road cutting through this going on and on and on. While waiting for the bus I had breakfast of potato roti and a free cup of tea.
The bright side of coming to this town was that for the first time I was travelling by day and this meant that I could see the country side. That was worth it.

In the bus, we suddenly braked to a halt. The conductor and another gut got down with a large sack. The road was fenced because with side was obviously private property. These guys jumped through the barbed wire and began collecting the large football (green) like things that seemed to be randomly scattered all over the ground. They brought these back and distributed it to everyone on the bus. I had a good time eating half a watermelon with my hand and then drinking the juice right off the empty shell. The flesh was icy cold and amazingly refreshing.

Jaislemer
I got here at 12.00. My first impression after seeing the amazing sandstone carvings on the road islands and roundabouts and the golden hue on everything was that this was an old beautiful city. The entire pace, rhythm and atmosphere of this town was unique. The fort hung over everything. An overriding presence of culture, dessert…the closest I’ve come to feeling that I am in ancient times.
I immediately went to the tourist information office. But for the first time I got the impression that this guy was trying to cream a buck off me by setting me up with hotels, safari’s and even money exchanges where he obviously got a commission. My Hindi understanding helped here. Including trying to send me to the Sam sand dune safari organised by the tourist board. But I also used him. Or at least used his toilet to freshen up.
Next I went to the Amar Sagar gate and Jawahir Villas (next to the Tazia Tower) where I had most of my meals and where I spent most of my time.
The city is highly concentrated with ‘gori’s’ and many fellow backpackers. It’s got a very tourist feel, but because people are so used to them, I could almost blend in. I spent the rest of the day looking for places to get my safari. Went to about 4 places but finally ended up at Ganesh Travels. Apart from being the cheapest and recommend by a few people I met, I got good vibes. Next I went looking for the sunset point. I was late so was really panting by the time I got there. But it was still really amazing. The colours were breath taking. Later on I noticed that through most of the journey through Rajasthan, I hardly saw many clouds. I also realised that clouds made a sunset much better. Rested as it got darker and spent about an hour lying down staring at the sky. Coming back to town via a short cut the locals told me about, I headed to the Dharmsala to inquire about rooms. Was told to come in before 11.00.

Opposite the Dharmsala next to the station was a huge mela going on. Basically a carnival. This was sponsored by a local newspaper. The mela’s were really a place where the locals could sell their ware. There were a number of stalls selling everything from sweaters, clothes, pickle, hand craft, music, and herbal products. There was one rifle shooting stall and I was very happy with my shooting skills because I hit every target I aimed. I did not win anything though cuz I think you only pay for the privilege of shooting the gun.

But my favourite was the rides. There was a bouncer, a giant wheel that wasn’t yet operational and an amazing boat ride. The kind of boat that that swings up and down. The best place was the tips of the boat. It was usually empty and I had amazing thrills. Unfortunately all the foreigners stay in the fort area and do not know about this. So it was filled with locals. The guys operating the boat ride I felt had a policy for how long the ride lasts. They would go on and on until they saw someone feeling sick. So the rides would last almost 5 minutes. I was addicted. I went many times on the ride. There was another mela closer to the fort that had a bigger but more crowded boat ride that I visited too. The other thing that makes the boat great and scary is the fact that its engine etc is outside and in a really bad state. There is a large rubber belt that I would think would break any moment. The swing is manually controlled. The engine could break down any moment. This was the first night so they had also organised a dance. There was a stage built in the corner. They had music, dance by the locals and even a comedian doing stand up. A few locals did some contemporary dances. The highlight of the show was a number of dances done by a huge broad shouldered and ‘pretty’ girl dressed in ghargra choli accompanied by another shorter ‘girl’. On closer examination I realised that they were actually men. But they danced so beautifully it was amazing. It was fabulous. The finale was the big ‘girl’ doing the pit on the head dance. All the people rushed and stampeded to get a closer look. They were really great.
I had to wait an extra day before leaving for the safari. This I used to explore the fort, walk around the sadly crumbly and shit infested boundary walls, and see the sights. It was great to walk through the narrow streets and get lost. Because not only are all the buildings amazing and old, people are actually living there.
Spent the evening talking to a local tempo guy and having fabulous hot badaam milk (almond flavoured milk). The first night was spent inside the hall. But I had to sleep outside on the second night because the hall had been booked. It wasn’t too bad at all.
The people are really lucky here. They all live in homes that look like heritage homes. In fact, most of the homes are heritage buildings. At night they light up the fort and it really looks stunning. Especially seen from the top end of a swinging boat or giant wheel.

The safari

I woke up. I am quite pleasantly surprised by this. How I can wake up really early when I need to. I had had to sleep outside this time because the hall had been booked for the night. It wasn’t bad, and 5 Rupees cheaper. Had b’fast before going to Ganesh's. Most of the crowd was already there. A huge group from Israel, Turkey etc. A couple of guys from UK and me. Left bags at Ganesh’s locker. We were taken by jeep about an hours ride into the dessert. I was to be with a couple from Canada. They have no knowledge of Sri Lanka. Don’t even know anything about cricket. Where I was feeling chilly, they tell me that their summers are like this.
How in the world can a dessert be cold? There are no mountains and yet it’s as cold as if there are mountains. That is unreal. Contrary to everything I have ever learnt and such an oxymoron. Doesn’t make any sense to me.
We reach some unmarked and seemingly random spot close to nothing. The road to get here was narrow, and really straight. No landmarks. Occasionally we would pass fields of humongous windmills. Very unreal and alien. Smooth steel, clinical and overpoweringly large and a landscape that was golden, arid, and so sparse.
We had to wait for the camels to come back from previous group’s safari. Till then we chilled under the shade. Got acquainted with the biggest problem of the dessert which were the prickly’s. Tiny balls covered in deadly, strong, sharp thorns that latch themselves on anything including skin. Everyone began rubbing generous amounts of sun tan lotion on themselves. My only protection was a tiny 5 gram bottle of lotion and my towel (go hitchhikers guide…your right about the towel) around my neck, my cap and sunny’s. My sunny’s were the only thing that I lost of value on my entire trip.
My first meeting with my camel “Mr. Lalu” did not go very well. I learnt very quickly that they are big, grumpy bastards. Which is what I named my own camel. I was cursed with the biggest one and the one with the most attitude and disobedience. On the whole though, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. The advantage of this was that I was the leader. The others were tied up to me. The disadvantage was that he would only behave when the guide, his master was around. Our guide was ‘Daniel’ though his real name was Dhanny.
Our days were spent travelling the land. About 25 km on average per day. We were meant to visit three villages on the way every day. Stop for lunch and rest between 12.30 and 3.30 the hottest part of the day. You can get watermelons either from the villages or along the way. Its is amazing to see them growing on the ground.
On riding the camel. Just go with the flow. Move with it. Become a part of the camel. It’s a good idea to keep shifting. You can cross your legs. Ride side saddle anything to ensure that you but doesn’t get saddle sore. Always stretch. On controlling the camel…don’t even bother. But if you want to try. Make sure he knows that you are in control. Always talk to it. He listens. Keep the reins tight. Give him a shot or two once in a way.
The camel is one of the most beautiful animals I have seen. I am so lucky to have been able to ride it. He is so sweet. So cuddly. Has the most amazing teeth and ears. His face is like a dragons. But with a friendly smile. His teeth are really scary though. After lunch during the hot part of the day they smell the most. They are constantly expelling gas from the front and rear and sound like a steam engine. Then you really curse the fact that you are second and not in the lead.
During our breaks there always seemed to be some villager who manages to drift by. They usually hang around for tea, chat and smoke. It was a huge advantage that Dhanny could speak to me much more easily than the others. I became a translator at times. But this power had to be used carefully or I would alienate myself with my fellow foreigners. Dhanny is very wise. He has picked up many English idioms. My favourite is that Japanese are like sheep. You can’t tell one from the other. He sings “I’m a camel man, in the bloody sand…” to the tune of “I’m a Barbie girl.” He also sings amazing local songs.
When it came to cooking. Food for me was made separately and spicier. I always tried to help out with the cooking. Usually we had tea, chapatti and a vege curry. In the night there was rice and dhal additionally. We also had fruit. Water for drinking was carried in large containers (like the water containers in our office filter machine). Water for washing and cooking was taken from the villages we passed.
The nights were spent at the dune. These were large hills of nothing but sand. So amazing and so much fun. Sleep out on thick blanket. A similar on was used for a sheet. Didn’t have dew problems. Because the moon was full we didn’t see any stars until the moon set. The best time to see the stars was waking up at about 4.00 am. It was so nice to wake up and have the first thing you see a sky full of stars, or the sun rising. Such a lovely honey-moon spot ;) The only curse were the damn dung beetles. Everywhere you sit, they would somehow find their way towards you. They were not harmful except for the occasional nip. They were a bit scary like the scarabs in the Mummy. And they were so persistent. Like a cockroach who somehow finds his way back up even after being flushed.
There was one exciting moment when the Polish guy jumped up and screamed. Dhanny came to the rescue and killed it with one whack of his slipper. It was a scorpion. The other animals that I saw during my sojourn (nice word no?) in the dessert were wild camels, vultures, eagles, hoopoe, rabbits(at least the holes), chipmunks, peacocks, fox, cattle and lizards. In addition there are snakes cobra’s and deer.
The last day was nice because it was just me and Dhanny. None of the others wanted to spend more time. They were kind of complaining a lot so I was glad to get rid of them. I was really enjoying the ride and quite used to. Although the rising up never failed to shock the life out of me.

Came back to town in the evening. I had a few options of either leaving by bus or train. Either way I had to hang around a bit. I waited at the mela. Made friends with the organisers, got a place to sit, company, free tea and free rides…as many as I wanted. I also gave them an idea of what they could do to increase the attendance. For instance organise a foreigners vs. local cricket match in the evening.
I had a choice to make. I realised now slightly panicky that I was behind schedule. That I would only reach Delhi on Sunday night the 20th instead of 2 days before. So I had to cut down on a few places to go.
I also missed the direct bus to Ajmer. So I had to take the bus back to Jodhpur (I’m travelling the width of Sri Lanka!) and from their get into an Ajmer bus which would leave about an hour later. For the first time I travelled in a private coach. My touring time their would be highly rushed cuz I would only be able to spend one night there and complete Pushkar as well, before leaving for Japipur and spending the whole of Saturday their, Sunday morning in Agra and night in Delhi somehow.

Ajmer & Pushkar

I’m leaving the dessert behind. Very sad to do that. It was nice to see the landscape change. To become greener, with more fields animals and people. The drive to Ajmer was also lovely. Hills that soon became mountains were on either side of us. It became cooler, and the mountains excited me as the always do. Ajmer lies at the foot of a large wall of a mountain. It is a pretty city. Famous for schools and a good number of universities. I have reached here at 10.00 in the late morning.
The first thing I did was to go to the information office. I learned that because the Prime Minister (Abdul Kalam) was visiting Ajmer, it would not be a good place to hang around as the roads and many places might be closed. So he advised me to go to Pushkar. I hurried back to the bus stand. Finding a place to buy the ticket was really tough. The bus was there so I got in and sat hoping to buy the ticket once we were on the move. Then the driver gets in stead of starting the engine shouts at everyone to get down. So for about half an hour everyone was wondering what to do going from one counter to the next to find out when the next bus would be arriving and whether their tickets could be refunded. I felt sorry for a couple of tourists.
All of a sudden a bus was leaving and a man I was asking information from rant to it. So I followed it and was just able to get in before it speeded off. People were kind of unsure as to where it was headed but thought it was going to Ajmer. It was. I was lucky. The drive up was amazing. A steady climb up a curvy mountainous road like the Kadugannawa stretch.
I was hungry. Got shown to a famous shop for the Pushkar specialty of Malpuwa. These are really sweet as they are served to you deep fried in ghee and then immediately soaked in sugar syrup. But they are mouth watering. Like pancakes. No I had one afternoon to see Pushkar. The thing to remember is that most of the temples are open only certain times of the day. Since I had come here during Lunch time, the only time I would get to see them was after 4.00 when most of them would open. Here too is a very hippy laid back touristy town. It is built around this very important lake. There were large number of tourists, many on Enfield’s (bikes). The music here is really cool. Apart from that, there are a countless number of temples. The local population are Sadhu’s. And they are really scary. Walking along the deserted, less crowded part of the city is like walking along a deserted road and once in a while you come across these Sadhu’s seated under trees or walking about. It was very freaky. Went to the important Brahma’s temple(though he is the creator of the universe, this is the only temple in the world for him – something to do with a pissed off wife), and climbed a really strenuous (Adam’s Peak type) mountain (750 foot climb) to Savitri’s (the pissed off wife of Brahma) temple. Spent some time here checking out the views etc. It was evening when I got back to town. Headed straight for the bus stand. Had to wait a long time for the bus to Ajmer. Reached there late in the night. The ride down to Ajmer was amazing. The entire city is laid out before you and it looks like stars.
I therefore dubbed Ajmer the city of stars. And it is one of my favourite cities.
It was night when I got here.
I went to the (Lodha) Dharmsala immediately. Left my luggage their and left for a walk in the night. Everywhere I went, there was always a wedding celebration going on. This involved the groom on a horse followed and led by his friends dancing along on streets with a band and really loud music. This procession would finally reach the hall and here celebrations would go on all night. I also went into the park (still open at 10.00 pm!) in the moonlight and the Amar Sagar lake edge where the Baradari (Marble Pavilion) is built. It is too beautiful for words.
I had the morning to check out Ajmer. I first went to the Darga. This was crowded with many Muslims. All panditaya’s. It was also the first place that I saw meat being eaten. The Darga was amazingly crowded. I am glad that I left most of my luggage at the Dharmsala. I was warned by the security to take care of my pockets. Here too I found hijra’s in this holy tomb of all places. I ate a bit of the holy porridge that is made daily in 2 huge pots that are at least 15 feet in height.
From here I climbed up to Taraghar. The house of stars. A fort up in the mountains above Ajmer. It was a really long, tiring hour long climb and I was in a hurry. Many times I thought I would go back. I was suffering. Thank god I left my luggage. What was worse that at every bend there were stalls where shop keepers sold all sorts of charms and good luck thingy’s to the people climbing up. I realised later that there was another tomb up there on top that people were climbing up to (I was also forced to go towards the tomb even though I told them that I didn’t want to go there). These shop keepers had a weird way and awful way of selling their stuff. They would record their message and play it on a loud speaker at full volume over and over again. So that even before I would go out of the range of one, I would come into the range of another. On the top thankfully there was a road. I sat in a shared jeep with other people that cost me 15/- and dropped me off to Sai Baba’s very contemporary looking temple. The road down was so steep, narrow and amazing. It felt like we were floating down to the city of the Ajmer that was spread below us. Took a local bus through the city from the old part with roads that were more dirt tracks than roads and finally to the main city itself where I picked up my stuff. Before I went to the bus stand I wanted to check one more thing out. It was a beautiful red rock Jain Temple. Unfortunately I could only see a part of it. This part was a 2 story gallery in which was built a miniature version of the Jain concept of the Universe. It was beautiful and fantastic but visible through a dirty window sadly.
Reached the bus stand at 3.45. The ride would be around 3 - 4 hours and I would reach there around 7 hopefully. The road is an amazing 4 + 4 highway that goes all the way to Delhi.

Jaipur.

This city is big. So big that our bus driver got lost. He had taken a wrong turn and ended up going to up the Delhi road and could find a way to u-turn to go back to Jaipur. Got us late by an hour. This is a real city city and I’m quite nervous.
To make matters more challenging, I did not really have an idea of where to go and what to do. Kind of going blind. I asked the locals for a Dharmsala (after fighting off the touts at the bus stand). They told me there would be one near the train station. It was not much of a walk to get there. This place was out of rooms. He seemed to like me and told me to come here after an hour. I went to the train station and found the information office open. I got convinced into taking a package tour for half a day from the morning onwards. They were very helpful anyway and I’m glad I went there even though it was about 8.30 in the night. Went back to the Dharmsala. This guy had kept a room for me. As he was writing in my details to check me in, he asked me the code no. for the Masgaun - where I was staying in Mumbai. I didn’t know it and before I could even think of a good enough reason for this, he cut my name off and told me to go. More like get lost. I really cursed myself for not thinking fast enough. It was such a slap in the face the way he treated me after that. Would not even listen to me, so I turned on my heel and walked out realising that appealing to him would be a waste of time. Because they do not let foreigners stay in Dharmsala’s I was kind of stuck at 8.30 in the night. The RTDC Hotel nearby did not have beds any free dorm beds. Apparently it was because of the wedding season. The other 2 RTDC hotels I went to also were no help. The youth Hostel was about 60/- away by tempo. I almost got into a tempo that said he would take me to some Hotel for 5/- Better luck next time sucker.
Now I was looking up options from my trusty old Lonely Planet. After about 2 Hotels I was recommended a place down the street. They had rooms and were giving it for 100/- after some bargaining. Unfortunately a cycle man had attached himself to me. The guy at the hotel thought the tempo had brought me and suddenly said he can only give the room at 130/- I realised - and was quicker this time - and told him that the tempo had nothing to do with me and was only following me. Earlier he kept shouting out deals, prices, facilities at me to let him take me to a cheap place. He also kept saying that the Hotels I was going into didn’t have rooms, were really expensive etc. It was a bit scary cuz the streets were quite deserted at 10.00 pm.
The room I got was as big as the bed that was in it. Hardly more space than that. But I was happy and well rested. I had bought a 7-up bottle as a treat for myself. Into this I . emptied some salt and lime and kept it for later. It was the most amazing drink I had had in a while.
I booked my ticket Agra after dinner. I wanted to take the last deluxe bus as was advised to book early even though buses leave almost every hour.
It was worth missing out on the Dharmsala because I got the ultimate luxury in the morning. One free bucket of hot water.
The next day I broke my rule by taking the tour. And realised why I hated tours so much. They kept taking us from spot A, to B to C. The guide kept droning out information and we kept moving our heads in the bus from left to right. The advantage was that we had our own guide, and I got the story twice cuz he had to say it in English and Hindi. The other good thing was that the cost of travel and speed was taken care of. I saw about 8 places in all. If I was alone I wouldn’t have been able to see more than 2 or 3. the Jantar Mantar rocked. Such a fascinating place. It had the worlds largest sundial. One that could tell the time right down to 2 seconds (eg. 12.35 and 42 seconds!) I love anything to do with the stars.
I met a Dutch couple who offered me a Dutch sweet. They warned me that this sweet is usually only liked by the Dutch and wouldn’t be offended if I spit it out. I braved the thing as much as I could. I just had to spit it out. It was the most awful mix of flavours I have ever tasted. I can still taste it in my mouth. It’s sweet and at the centre, salty! and called Russian Brikatte – beware.
In the afternoon I got off close to the Hawa Mahel. I wanted to do a bit of shopping and See the Hawa Mahel closer up, cuz we had only seen it from the bus and not stopped. Then in the evening I went to the planetarium. Figuring that the founder was so much into the stars that the least I could do was learn something about it myself. This finished at about 7.30. I walked back to town along the posh streets. Went into a few malls, saw a McD’s and some Barista’s etc. Felt like I was in a world after all the rural cities I have been to. Felt like I didn’t belong here. Felt like all these people were missing out on so much. I also walked into the most amazing theatre I have ever been into. I was just dumbstruck staring from the doorway. It was more like a palace, with carpets, chandeliers and dim lighting. A security spotted me and chased me outside saying that I could not enter without a ticket. I also had a trim of my beard…all in preparation for coming to Delhi. It was funny cuz the man thought it very weird that I wanted to trim my moustache off too. Came back with an hour to spare before I had to check out. I took the 12 midnight bus to Agra. It was a very good coach. I was extremely sad to leave Rajasthan behind having spent the best time in my life there.
Toilet time…Realised something about toilets. Your time spent in there is measured in breaths, not minutes. In other words how long you can hold you breath or how many breaths you can take without fainting.

Agra

Reached Agra at about 4.30 in the morning. It was really bitingly cold. Quite a mist that I later realised was more pollution than mist. The tempo and touts were really aggressive. Making me realise that I wasn't in Rajasthan anymore. They unashamedly lied to me. Luckily I was forewarned by the Lonely Planet about this. They said that I could not go to the Taj Mahal in the morning. They said I cannot go with Bags. They told me to freshen up first. Gave me all sorts of excuses why I should go to the Hotel first. I began walking away from there as fast as I could. Mainly to get away from them fast. Asked direction from an old lady (who was speaking in some other language) but understood enough for her to be of huge help to me. The roads were deserted. Took a shared tempo for a nearby junct for 3/- The Lady had told me the price. Out of curiosity, I stopped a tempo and asked how much and he said 30/- I then told him I’d give 3/- and suddenly he brought his price down to 10/-
From there I took another tempo for about 3/- to the Park that surrounds the Taj. It must have been about 5.00 am. Pitch dark. A few people were walking in this park exercising. It lead me to the gates of the Taj. Tickets for Indians were 20/- and or foreigners 750/-. Thank god I was not a foreigner J
Taking Huzi Bhai’s advice I got a guide. After a lot of no’s and haggling he came down from 100 to 75. He had also assumed that I was a local. Otherwise he would have had to charge me a couple of thousand. When he guessed this he told me to keep my voice down or he would get into trouble. I had to keep my pen knife and back pack and phone and go through a mega security strip search before getting in.
It was a really good idea to come before sunrise. That’s not only the most beautiful tine you avoid the rush and the need to stand in long que's. Seeing it appear out through the mist is unforgettable. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I just sat there in front of it soaking it in. Absorbing in the beauty of the Taj. Breathing in and touching every magical piece of wondrous architecture. Trying to picture a time when all this would have been possible. Trying to imagine what would happen if someone tried to do the equivalent of the Taj in our time now. Some of the semiprecious stones came from Sri Lanka…yay. But nothing more. Not the marble as some people claim. Although I’m no expert on this. To think that the British almost auctioned the Taj for its marble.
2 things about it were special. One was its simplicity and minimalism. The other was its geometry. It did not require too many grand designs. Because if you look carefully, at every minute of the day as the sun rises and travels through the sky over it, it looks different. I was still there at 12.30 pm.
I began walking towards the fort. It must have been at least 1.5 to 2 km away. I should have taken a cab, but I didn’t like the fellows and the way they kept hounding me. Towards the end of my walk I was so pissed off that I blasted them. They meekly went off. At least walking along the road was really pleasant with a great climate. After the fort, went to look for a mosque. It was in a Muslim area and amazingly crowded. I also wanted to buy shoes. I looked at many shops and got really bothered by the buggers. Even got chased by a shop keeper who to my shock began to scold me. So I scolded him back and made a scene.
Saw the mosque. Juma Masjid. It was nothing much.
My slipper broke. My poor Bata health slipper that had been through so much with me. I realised that I had gotten really attached to it and did not want to throw it away. So I pinned it together. I actually thought that I could get away with it being pinned and so not having to replace it. I had to hold it for a little longer. I pretended to be limping cuz I was in the shoes selling market and didn’t want the people to think that I was desperate. People tried very hard to stop me from leaving their shop. If I said I would did not like anything, they would tell me to wait and show me everything they had, brought the pries down crazily and finally scold me. I hated it. Finally in one shop I said a price I though I would pay for a shoe. But I did not really want to buy it thinking that I could get away. But the guy brought his price down almost 100% and packed it for me. Just to avoid a scene I bought it. They are actually nice although not exactly what I was looking for. The people are an experience to avoid.
Even the cops are scary. On one hand they carry a thick bamboo stick and on the other hand a large metal spike. This cop bent down rammed the spike into the waiting tempo and walked off. Obviously he did not like the way the tempo was parked, but it was a scary way of dealing justice. Either their really strict or just damn bitches.
Huzi bhai messaged me and advised me not to go to Delhi becauei would reach there in the night. But I though reaching there in the night was much better than hanging around looking for a place to stay in Agra.
I took a shared taxi to the bus stand. This is where again I missed Rajasthan. There are 3 bus stands and I didn’t know which one I needed to go to. I left it up to the tempo guy. He suggested…something, and I said ok, even though I was not too sure about what he said. Cuz by now I was really tired and frustrated and wanted to leave Agra. I was quite shocked when this guy brought me to a railway station. I did not expect this. I though that I would be taken to another private bus stand. I just went with the flow. The train took about 3 hours. It was very crowded. For every seat that was meant for one person, at least 2 people sat. There were guys stretched out on the luggage rack! I now know why I preferred to travel by bus. There was some woman who made such an uproar getting all the men to stand and give seats to women. It would have been fine if she politely asked, but she forced the men to stand creating a fuss and scene.

Delhi

Reached here late in the night. At 9.00 pm ! Luckily the bus stand was nearby. Also luckily there was no touts trying to overwhelm me. I took a bus to the closest area to the Hotel Huzi Bhai had recommend to me. I was willing to spend about 1500/- cuz my stay here was sponsored. I don’t know why I took so much trouble, but I wanted to avoid tempos so I walked a long distance. I reached the area to find that the Hotel was under renovation and closed. The one close to it was too expensive. So I walked to Connaught place. This was one happening area with night clubs and expensive restaurants. The Lonely Planet said that there were a few Hotels in the area. I spent some time looking for it after going too a couple of other Hotels. Finally found it. Got a small room for 560/- Then had a good dinner and Kesar Badaam pista ice cream as a treat.
The next day was work. The scary thing was that until 8.30 in the morning I did not know the address of the office I was to go to. The mobile no. I had of the contact was wrong so I had to contact Colombo for the address. I was so relived when I got the message. I had contacted Colombo the previous week and there was still no message. Took a bus there. The rules for going on the bus are slightly different. The distance to go was very far. The ride was quite a rough. I could see why driving in Delhi was such an adventure. If Mumbai is Chaos, it is at least organised chaos. In Delhi, it is unorganised. He would not slow down over road bumps.
In the night I was put up at another better Hotel not far from office. Paid for by office. Yay. I thought that I would go out somewhere, instead of retiring directly to the Hotel and being boring. So I went to see Harry Potter. The cinema was quite nice. They had small stars in the ceiling. It was very nice. Finished at about 1 am.
I thought that I would take a bicycle man. Until then I felt really bad for these guys. Them suffering and straining trying to cycle their passengers all over the city. I took him cuz I realised that they were cheaper. I didn’t expect his to be so far away. But it was after getting to the neighbourhood with no idea where the place was that the cyclist said that he cannot go any further. Stopped a couple of drunks that we should not have asked for directions. He then dropped and I began walking. It was about 1.30 am and I had all my bags. I was really tired, so I stopped a tempo. Gave him 10/- to take me to the Hotel. It took me a few 100 meters away. He really ripped me off. He then stopped at the top of a narrow road and told me to walk down it saying that he would not go any further. I had to walk a long way before finally coming to the other end and the Hotel. It was very scary. I was really pissed off cuz the tempo could have easily gone around and dropped me at the foot of the Hotel.
The Hotel had hot water. It had AC. It was clean. It had a TV. It had cable. I never felt so surrounded by luxury. I basked in it. Thought about recuperating in the Hotel the entire day. I even had a paid for b’fast.
I had bought a plane ticket to take me to Mumbai in the night, so I had the entire day to see the sights. I had my bags with me and went to the Fort, Jumma Mosque and the India Gate, a fashion street type street and the Jantar Mantar. I had a bad experience at Jumma Masjid where after waiting a couple of hours there, they did not let me climb up to the minaret. All this involved a lot of walking. A bit of local bus travel. And even a bit of shopping. I was really getting late as I took the bus back to office. I should have been there at 5.30, but I reached at 6.00 pm. Then I had to wait for the cab to come.
I changed my clothes! For the first time in 20 days I was in new clothes. It felt good. Reached the airport at 7.30 and the plane left at 8.15. I had cut it really fine. But it was so much fun to breeze through with no luggage problems. The plane food was really good. They even gave me a Baskin Robbins ice cream.
I could have very easily stayed another day. But I really did not want to. The city was too big (I felt lost in it). The people were not trustworthy and the last 20 days of tiredness caught up with me. Felt good to be back in Mumbai. I had missed it.

Salaam Namaste

2005-10-05T12:53:00.000+06:00

Tuesday 4th October 2005

After mosque, went to the movies yesterday. They have a huge no of theatres. Some are old fashioned and some are new. I went to a place called Regal opposite the Jehangir Museum. It was a big debate as to what to actually see. I wanted to see the choc factory, but my sis said that she also wanted to come, so I’ll keep that for a weekend. I was tempted to go see skeleton key, but decided to see an eye candy Hindi film....salaam namaste with saif ali khan and preeti zinta. I don't know why I went and saw this actually, but what the hell.

After dinner, sis told me that I could take her bike...wow. Was a bit worried about going without licence, but that’s what cool about my sis. She was like..Awesome. Its a Kinetic Honda 'Zing' 50 cc and no gears! It’s like driving an automatic. Absolutely no pick up and you’re cruising at a laughable 40 kmp, and more and it starts to scream. But it’s a damn useful bike to have. It’s got a mobile charger!!! And the best bit is that it can take the whole family (of 4!). I wore the helmet...bright red all face covering and left.

The kids saw me leaving and both wanted to come with me. I realised that if I don't take them, they might create a scene when I wanted to get away quietly, so I took them around the block. And then left. Muru has realised quite fast that this was a mamu who likes to get lost…

Another cool thing about movies here is that everyday you have late night movies at 9.30 and even 12.30. So I took the route I knew. I realised when I came to churchgate that I have had the wrong theatre in my mind as I reached EROS. So asked my way to the Regal. Bought a 100/- ticket (tickets get expensive during the weekend) and went to the balcony. Damn good seats. Had the usual ads in the beginning, but they were damn good ones (radio mirchi...these guys have a super outdoor idea in getting some ppl standing at the roundabouts in the morning holding signs saying switch to radio mirchi cuz so and so (usually a celebrity guest speaker) is on air now)
During the middle of the show, sis called me to make sure everything was ok and that she was sleeping. She kind of put the scare in me about where I parked the bike. Because if it was illegal then the thing would be towed away. We were having this conversation about how the cops love to tow vehicles away, so I got a bit worried about that. It was hard work worrying abbot the bike and concentrating on the movie. (Parking at a mall car park is 200/- and to release your vehicle after getting it towed is also the same. So the lack of parking compells some ppl to actually let their vehicles be towed away cuz it might be safer at the cop shed!)

The movie itself was one of those kinds that you don't have to use your brain for. But it was funny (slightly) enough to make the whole thing worthwhile. Very much like 9 months with Salma baby and Mathew Perry.

Raced out once it was over to check on the bike. Such a relief to see that the little beauty was still there. On my way back, I got slightly lost. Ended up at marine drive and the beach. What the hell though. Spent a little time there gazing into the black (slightly and slightly suspiciously smelling) water and the queen’s necklace. Left that place taking roads rather randomly knowing that I’d reach VT the train station eventually. And eventually I did (after taking a few tiny roads to avoid a few cops I saw on the way). On the whole it was quite a thrilling night.
I did not use the horn even once. I just had to prove to myself that you can drive in Mumbai without the need of the horn. Though I did feel like stopping, getting off, and kicking the shit out of a few idiots (mainly taxis and people).

Of fasting and shitt

2005-10-05T12:51:00.000+06:00

3rd Monday October 2005

1st fast. Had to wake up early. Feel like a zombie on steroids. Have a very shitty day that made me ponder on the question “What happens when you hold in a fart” Does it get dissolved back into the system? Does it come out at a later stage much bigger? Does it come out of other orifices? Is this the cause of people saying that they feel shitty?

After work went shoe shopping. There are many branded shoe shops close to work and they are factory outlets so the Addidas, Reebok, Nike, Weatherman, Levis, Fila shoes are quite cheap. But me being the troubled shopper went to about 10 of these shops and found only 1 pair that I liked. No I need to go to another 10 and check out every option I can before I make the purchase or I’ll feel like there might have been something that I missed.

Because of this, I got a bit late to mosque and went after prayers. The food was bloody awesome.
The 1st day of every bhora Calendar month is also the day of the new moon. So today would be the second day. Apparently looking at the moon brings good luck. Also you cannot see the moon on the new moon and the first day of the month (you can only see it very slightly on the second after sunset), hence probably the reason why Muslims alw

Haji

2005-10-05T12:50:00.000+06:00

Sunday the 2nd of October 2005

Woke up late

Mad rush to leave the home, cuz just as we were leaving, visitors had come and bhen had to do her duty as daughter in law. Helped out by making drink.

Finally left, past the 7 road junction and the first stop was the Dhobi Gauts. This is a mass washing machine where Bombay’s clothes are washed. Have to see it to believe it. People in little stalls hammering the clothes onto a stone. Wonder how they know who’s clothes is whose.

Then went to the race course. Its large and more impressive than the Nuwea Eliya course, but I’ll still vote for the later. You just can’t beat the climate and location. There was a large club and restaurant there as well.

Then came to the Haji Ali. It’s a long causeway to the sea (which is closed during high tide). This is lined by beggars lying on the causeway in a square chanting continuously with all their money collected in the centre. The mosque is actually a tomb of a saint, and is not that impressive now., though people throng there. There are men who you pay to care for your slippers and signs telling people to report them, if they over charge. On the other side are rocks, where you can catch the Arabian Sea breezes and get wet. A man was scraping a mollusc off the rocks with a spoon to feed raw to his 5 year old kid. Apparently it cures him if having a fit. Maybe he means Epileptic. Leaving the place, we got caught to the rain. So while sheltering outside under the tikka restaurant, we had a meal. It was Yum to the Max. Marinated so well, that even though eaten raw, was tasty. Falcons were hovering close by. It was crowded and in typical Muslim fashion had people screaming at the top of their lungs. Even though he was screaming, a man complained that non-one was listening to him.

Then left to the Planetarium. This was really nice with the experience much better than our local one (obviously) the seats rocked. Wish they could give a chart that could map out the night sky and name the stars. Almost went to sleep though during the session.

Opposite the planetarium is the Nehru Centre. There was an amazing exhibition on India and its History, Great Leaders, Religions etc. It was all a walk through with real life looking models. It began all the way from the Indus Valley till present time. The best part was that you could see how it must have actually been, because of the costumes, stages and décor made like real. I am sure Sri Lanka too could have an equally amazing story to tell.

Finally came home by 5.30. Had to get ready for prayers at the rooftop! The way it was done you don’t even realise that you’re on the top…open air would have been nicer though. Dinner was downstairs in the carpark. Damn yum with yummier home made ice cream.

5 days of action

2005-10-05T11:58:00.000+06:00

26th Monday

Finally got the travelling to work right. Did not miss the stop.
Went to lunch at a seea food restaurant. Had an awesome bombay duck...which is actually a fish dish. Went to my first focus group. Slighlty nervous about it, cu i have to conduct it and make a room full of strangers comfortable with each other and gain some useful insights. But it was quite fun.

Took the train home from Dadar (one of the largest stations in Mumbai)

27th Tuesday

Took the ppl at work some Gal Seeambala. It was fun seeing their reactions at this very exotic looking, tamarind tasting fruit :) Had lunch at the amazing office canteen. Wainted till late to discuss the Afla discussion guide with the AE.

28th Wedensday

Today is the focus group i organised. Ajeeta is doing one at 3, so we leave for that. Its was amazing to see the brains (Ajeeta and Rajeev) in operation completing the focus group DG in the car. The location is in Vile Parle (further than last times dadar) about half an hour car ride. The others had though that my grp was in walkeshwar and so we had assumed that we would come to work an pick up the stimulus and DG on the wasy (hence i had left it here), but my grp was also in Vile Parle. So i called the account guy up and he sorted it out for me. I should have seen this coming. Got some amazing insights about women and thier motivation for fitness and why they don't like going to them.
The first thought when people realise i'm from SL is Murali. Then come the LTTE and the war. The tsunami is a distant last. Rajeev took the group as it was conducted in Hindi. Again amazing to see him handle them. Rajeev was a bit pissed that i had not taken the tags and branding off the suitcases (stimulas) though he hadnt told me to. I guess i should have realised that too (2nd boo boo).

Ahd some amazing food (idli and sav puri) from a nearby place that was fabulously mouthwatering. The location is in front of a Hindu temple where a sermon was taking palce.

It got over at about 8. On the way, Rajeev confirmed that i'd be attending the wrokshop tomorrow).Got dropped to a cab and went straigt to office where i updated my blog and got some work done before i left for home, a bit late (at 11.00)

29th Thursday

The hotel is The Grand Hyatt in Santa Cruz and starts at 9.00. Had to leave home by 8 and take a 20 minute train ride to santa cruz station. 40 minutes is quite a distance cuz the trains are amazingly fast. But not fast enough to miss the huge no. of people shitting on the track with their butts in the bloody air and a bucket of water by their feet. Had breakfast of sandwiches in the train seeing allthe scenery (including the shitters) go by.

None of the ppl i asked knew the location of the Hotel, so i called up Ajeeta who picked me up from the bus stand next to the station.

After the workshop (it wasnt residential) i got dropped off by the Barista in Bandra at the top of Linkin Road. There is some amazing shopping here. After much deliberation and bargaining bought a bag and a belt. Wanted to get bling bling, but wasnt sure of what would be nice, so left it (sorry ppl who could have recieved blin bling gifts from me.)

Met another fellow burnetter (hot chick) who directed me to hill road for some shoe shops. But came away dissaponted. Tool the train from Bandra back home and switched tracks at Dadar. Came home to a pissed Huzi bhai cuz i had not called and they were worried.

30th Friday

Got late for the workshop today. But it was cool. There were so many ppl going in out and tho, it was pissing the conductor. Everyone at the office is so fucking smart its really humbling. Even the creative ppl are hands on with the brand and are fully involved. The ideas they came up with was bloody amazing...Eg: At the ESP workshop last week, they came up with some crazy ideas for McD's in 2 hours. the essense was a boring thing..."Happiness" Thought that they will have trouble getting good ideas from something as general as that...but no...
The strategy was to make it enjoyable to teenagers, so they will have movies screenings, special menu, music etc.
One idea was you see on the frame a large built man on a chair munchin on a burger. Then some one from the back taps his shoulder and asks him to bend down a bit (line...movie screening at McD's). Another had ppl eating their burgers and then all together gurgling the word bock ku (say it out aloud). This happens together every few sceonds. Then the background sound slowly increase. The mucis is "we will, we will Rock You" AND the ppl are all asying rock you with food in theri mouths. There were about half a dozen like this. Supper....

Had bloody awesome dessert of Kesar Rasgullah.

After workshop got dropped off in a Chevrolette to the top of the road (only) and walked to the station which was actually not that far. (people assume everything is far apart, but in my walking shoes, they are not actually. I guess thats cuz i don't mind walking). Near the station, i got a bus to Juhu beach. The beach i really large and wide. The water sucks. Gently and apologetically lapping at your feet like a dying mongrel. There were some nice food stall that i passed by (damn). Was walking for about a km on the beach. Came out and headed for my destination of Pritvi Theatre. The show Sir, Sir Salra starts at 9.30 and it was 7.30

They have some art on the wall, a small libabry and a cosy restaurant. But i didnt hang around there for long. Went back to the beach and succumbed to the temptatiion of the food. Had the special of some joint there called Mysoor Masala. Damn Yum. As a treat to myself on the way back stopped by at Barista and had an exhorbitantly rich and yummy but expensive (84/-) coffe and chocolate with ice cream and whipped cream in a tall glass thing.

The play was in hindi and unfortunatly about 50 % of the dialogues went aver my head. But i understood the gist of it. Just 3 actors, live music (funky stuff with a digaroo and playing a guitar with a bow like a celo) The stage was right at the foot of the audeience and we were really close to the actors. It was a really cool setting. I thouroughly enjoyed the 150/- i paid for it.

Went to Vile Parle and took the train back home via dadar. Reached at about 12.00

1st Oct Sat

Took the no. 3 bus all the way to the end to navy Nagar. This is a place where all the navy folk live. Practically all of it except the main road is off limits to ppl without passes. But it was nice to know that i'm at the extrememe tip of mumbai. Nice old, large houses as well as apartments. Like a seperate community altogether.

Walked to the Afgan church. An old one in dedication of ppl who died during the Afgan war in the 19th Centuary i think . It was closed, so i took the buss to Cuffe Parade. Again a very posh place with large hotels and the world trade centre. By Maker apartments i coiuld reach the ocean and see all the way to marine drinve, Walkeshwar and nariman point/. Went to the mall and brought a cd.

Took bus to Jehangirr. Went to the art gallery first. Its in a heritage buidling. 3 floors. Really nice. It had indian art from way back then till present day. ppl there were quite strict. Don't let u use mobiles and you cannot see the painting in reverse orer against the floor of traffic.

Crossed the road and went to the museum. In both these places i paid 10 and went in as a local. At the museum, if i was a foreigner, i would have had to pay 300!!! Again in an old building. It was a bit musty and old. But the exhibits were awesome. The history and culture in there and in india is stunning. The best part though is the weapons.

Regal is across the junct. Opposite this is little joint called Chicketas. Had a (recommended) Franky here. Its basically a fotti with a filling of yum chicken and cloeslaw. From there i walked to the Gate way. Tried to climb up to the Taj and take pics, but they were onto me i think. But went up to the top floors and checked the view out anyway. Apparently the architect who built the place had made a huge blunder. He put the entrance the wrong way round. Had later killed himself after realisin the mistake.

Took the no. 3 bus home after it got dark at the gateway. Got into some killer traffic and horns at Mohamadali road. The horns are a huge pain. Its continous. When one taxi stops, another bike starts, and then another. It just doesnt stop.

After reaching home at 8, went straigt to my Masi (aunt)'s house for dinner. After the amazing dinner and playing kabadi with the kids and checking out the hilarious spoof of monopoly by MAD, went for some sight seeing.

Bhen and huzi bhai on their respective bikes took us to marine drive and queens necklace. We hung around at the far end (tip) of this - Nariman POint - in fron of the theartre NCPA for a while and came home at about 1.00 am.

Of Uran and Kulfi

2005-09-28T22:46:00.000+06:00

Sunday, 25th September 2005

Sis picked me up and took me to my usual bus stand in byculla. But till now I had not noticed the little passage that leads to the market. It was a small rectangle. The far side had a fresh chicken meat stall. The stalls looked very much like what it would in Colombo. The chicken stall was an experience. You give the weight you want and they will select a chicken and give you a number to come back after a short time. This is because they need time to kill it. Yes. That’s right. They have live chickens they kill, skin and chop to the size you wish. By the time we came back it was number 30. They have quite a good business I presume. But its enough to make any a vege. IN the meantime I went to the meat market, which is an adjoining hall. Here one side is meat and the rest is fish. All manned (?) by big, beetle-chewing women. They each had their own cat (or was it the other way round) lording over the fish from their favourite perch. The most number of fish that I could see or at least recognise were small finger to elbow length sharks. Being me, I touched or rather stroked them. One way was smooth and unexpectedly a bit slimy. The other way was very rough. And sandpapery.

Train. My first train ride. Bough ticket to VT. Had apple while waiting on platform 4 – the nearest to the entrance. Was told that there would 2 be stops, but I didn’t know that this was an express train. So when the train stopeed, I was waiting for it to move on. It didn’t for a long time. So I quickly ran to the dustbin adnd threw my apple core and ran back. I quickly walked a bit back to see how the electrical lines were connected to the train and quickly walked back. Wa getting a bit worried, cuz I knew that trains don’t hang around too much at a station. After 5 minutes and asking someone, I realised that all the while I was waiting for the trin to go to VT, I was actually at VT! People were getting in to go back the way the train had come cuz this was the last stop.

Got out the side entrance and walked to the front. The station is amaaaazing. Old gothic arcitecture. Large hounds as gargoyles. Funny looking monkeys, lots of turrets. Very impressive. Actually looking around, all the building are like this. Its amazing.

Went to the GPO. Another old building but on the side of VT. Very much like Colombo post office, but larger. Climbed upstairs but was told it was closed and only for employees.

From there, I took the side streets, instead of the main road towards what I though other sights would be. Nice to see the place waking up. Barbers on the street using dangerous looking blades and scraping away at chins. People carrying their groceries. Temples busy and cows being fed. Watching my head for rubbish that are thrown off the top floors of apartments. Its so much like pettah, its amazing.

Came to the open and main road. Walked along side the reserve bank of India and came to the mint. Walked around there and down a nice looking lane. Very Baudhaloka Mw type, with large streets and trees. A couple of street cricket matches were taking plae. But they players seemed to be slightly posh, not street kids. A guy on a bike shouted to me in perfect English asking me if want to smoke hash. At least that’s what it sounded like. He could have just been asking for time???

Came to an old naval museum called Ballad Bundar. Amazing to see the maps of Bombay during its island stage and transformation to the present city.

Went further down to the cruise terminal or entrance to the docks. Can’t enter without a pass. So walked back the way I came and suddenly found myself at the foot of the amazing public library.

This is something like the town halls you might get in Washington etc. It’s a huge white washed building with a large floight of stets, and lots of big pillars. There was a door open so I crept in quietly. Why do you always feel like whispering in a library? Was reading the papers when I heard the man locking up the place. I almost fancied the idea of being locked up in this place and exploring it. But I called attention to myself by coughing loudly. The man came running to me and asked me “oh bhai…” what are you doing here. The library is actually closed on Sunday. But he got to talking and let me read seeing that I was not from here. He was quite impressed that I could speak Hindi and more so that I was from SL. Seemed to thin that we were living in the stone ages, cuz he asked me whether we have trains, how we travel and told me that Murali was an Indian. So “Goodness gracious me like” I almost laughed.

Right in front of the librabry is Horniman Cricle. The heritage buildings around it are also circular following the curve of the park at this junction. Inside the pak is a nice tree covered relaxing area. Few rides for kids. People on benches etc. Outside next to old well is the banyan tree that was the first stock market in Mumbai.

Along the road in front of the entrance to the circle is St. Thomas’s catherdial. Its supposed to be the oldest here. As I drew near, could hear the choir. Wanted to check it out. It was a(no surprise) amazing. Old church and architiecture. Lots af great tombs and old dead ppl. The choir was practising, so I sat in the same chair that Queen Mary and King George the 5th sat on in 1911, right next to the pew that Mother Teresa sat on in 1983. Tried to close my eyes and imagine the time way back then.

Went on further towards flora fountain, with a statue of the Greek goddess of water. It would have been more impressive if there was actually any water in it. On the opposite road (towards churchgate station) was a no. of pavement book stalls selling pirated books. But hell, they were all new ones and I which I had the urge to buy them all. The Harry Potter series, Paul Cohelo (of the Alchemist), Dan Brown, Catch 22 etc. These were between 50 to 150 and bargainable.

Paid 2 bucks to get my pen knife sharpened. Now its fucking sharp.

In the afternoon, to a whole bunch of kids, Me, sis and huzi bhai with 7 other kids fitted with difficulty in a Maruti van. We went to the gateway on India. It wasn’t as impressive I imagined probably cuz I imagined it to be bigger. Also there was such a large crowd. Lots of hawker and interestingly people carrying camera’s (nothing so interesting in that), but these people will take you pic and supposedly post it to you. Alas, our boat had just departed and there weren’t anymore. Since we were set on going on a boat, bhen got us going to Ferry Wharf.

Here we took the 5 pm boat. It was an hour to get there. And our destination was URAN. Not an island like we had thought previously, but actually mainland India. From there we took a 3 wheeler ride (170/-) to the beach about 10 km away. We thought that we should take 2 of them and told the driver as much, but to our surprise, he suggested that we all go in one. We were even more surprised when we all managed to fit (11 of us). These guys are obviously used to it. It was slightly bumpy.

There was nice hikable hilly area, but closed for public belonging to the navy. The area looked like a poor seaside town, cuz it smelled really bad. This was really village, cuz you could see it was poor. Wild pigs running around, people on the road selling fish, low lying land and it smelled a bit weird. Although it was a good change from Bombay. The beach was by the side of a natural gas company.

What a beach. It kind of sucked yar. Black sand. Not brown or golden. The waves were puny little fucks lapping up against my feet. Could walk in a bit sea-wards. The kids and all else enjoyed themselves. I wouldn’t have like to bathe here cuz of a drain emptying closeby. The sky line of Bombay could be seen quite well. I am a bit confused as to what part of the sea I am looking at (was it the Arabian sea?)

Went back when it was dark. Was there in time 5 minutes before our boat arrives at 8. The ride back was awesome. The top open deck was quite, feeling of nice open space and antachari in the background. At the bottom, we managed to sit our selves at the front end of the boat. It was travelling much faster so could feel the bumps a bit more. Quite proud to know that one of huzi bhai’s cousins has swun this entire stretch from Uran to the gateway of India (against the tide/current) in a total of about 18 hours. Cool.
On our back, tired as we were, was amazingly cheered by the stop at Gupta’s Kulfi and ice cream where we got ourselves half a kg of butter scotch ice cream and kesar and pista kulfi. The kulfi is so amazing, its crazy.

Bargain crazy

2005-09-28T22:44:00.000+06:00

Saturday the 24th of September 2005

· Woke up where I had been sleeping the last nite…in the hall. Spent the morning doing fuck all. Did a bit of reading etc. and went back to sleep till lunch.

· Was itching to go out, but had to wait till bhen was ready to take muru to Madrasa at 3.00. Took the bike then to Huzi bhai’s shop (Ahmed and Company) in Lohar Chawl near crawford market. Again very similar to Pettah. Different streets sell different products…from belts, kurta’s, electric items, stationary, etc.

· Took short cut to tailors and got myself nicely measured up :)

· Now have to go into thru this tiny doorway into an amazing cloth bazaar to by my cloths. Its called Mangal Das. And was a cloth paradise. Both other stuff, belt, stationary etc. Bhen went to pick muri and take him for Karate and dropeed me near Xavier college. It was now about 6.00

· Walked to fashion street. This is a bargain joint to the max. I think I got suckered into buying an Osho slipper when I should have checked around a bit more. Anyway, not too big a deal, cuz its nice anyway. Bought a kurta top for gift and this was from a no bargain shop and it was quite a relief.

· Went on towards Church gate station. Big, nice old building. Walked right in to the trains itself. No one would have stopped me. A separate carriage exists for ladies only. Also a coin dispenser is a cool gadget there. You slip in a Ghandhi picture carrying note and it spits out coins. Went back to Huzi’s shop and he took me on his bike back home. That was a really cool ride. As bad, if not worse than going on the trailer bike with Ranil Nalawansa. What a roler coaster ride. My eyeballs ended up at the back of my head

Day 1 at Leo

2005-09-28T22:42:00.000+06:00

Friday the 23rd September 2005

· Woke up at 7.30 with only a word from bhen. Not bad no. See I can wake up if I want to and when I want to.

· Left at 8.30 and took a bus to work. I absolutely did not understand what the conductor rattled on. Held out the coins I had and he took 5/- Told my I need to get down at Lower Parale. Asked a neighbour to tell me the spot to get down. I was looking out for the Sheraton towers, but then they passed. Oops. Apparently I should have gotten down at the previous stop. But no worries. I had a good walk. Passes a petrol shed with a sign “pure for sure”. What was funny was that above this, they had a picture of an ok sign that look hilariously like the Preethi Logo.

· I was really early at work at 9.15 cuz no one I knew were there (Ajeeta, Anita or Rajeev). So sat down at the table and read papers. The office is next to the MTV office (lots of eye exercise in the evening I was told) and behind the Gray office. It’s a nice and quiet neighborhood. Very much like a large hall divided up by tables and small partitions. There are 2 carem boards in the centre and a pool table on the side where there is also a TV that is always on. There are separate people you call who will bring you your printouts and photocopies and your tea of B’fast from the kitchen downstairs. They have a great canteen where fresh food is made and who aroma wafts upstairs in the morning.

· Finally every one arrives by 10.30. Was given a brand book to read by Rajeev and my first assignment. Yasmin was there and that was really fun. Also met a bhora called Feroze.

· Lunch was unforgettable. Me, Ajeeta and Rajeev went to the Sheraton towers for a 5 star lunch/buffet. Had a mix of Indian and Sushi!!! This cost a pretty 575 INS. That’s a hell of a lot, even by Sri Lankan standards for lunch.

· In the afternoon, I went to get my phone card. Was a bit pissed off with myself cuz I bought the card without checking the prize. I paid 430 for it when I was looking for a 200/- card.

· In the evening, I took the bus back home again. I really should learn to read the numbers, cuz they make absolutely no sense to me. I could have gone home at 5.30, but I stuck around till 6.45 trying to get my USB port to work with the help of the IT guys and searching for documents from the network. Didn’t get a chance to play pool with any of the boys yet.

· Took the bus back, but missed the stop. Was in a long traffic jam with the horns blaring continuously when I realized that I should have reached home and that I should have asked someone. Was told that Mazgoan (where I stay) is long past. So I got down in this really crowed area and began walking back. Passed bhindi bazaar and the roza. It took me about ½ and hour. When I came to a spot I recognized, I treated myself to a sugar cane juice for 2/-

· Later Huzi bhai told me that I should ask them to make it fresh for me and not add any water or ice. The street food is really tempting. Went to sleep watching a movie…

Lost in the City

2005-09-28T22:38:00.000+06:00

Thursday, 22nd September 2005

Got up early thanks to Murtaza at 8.00. B’fast of cornflakes and wondering whether to go for Zairet or not. Its raining so Huzi got lazy and would take me in the night. Procrastinated till 11. and then biked it in the rain to the top of Nesbit road after which I walked to Masi’s house.
Hung around there and chatted about nothing and everything. Should have brought recent home pictures for everyone to see.
Manssur (my cuz) is married to an outsider (WOW). How tempting...
Bhen picked me up after picking Murtaza from school at about 3. The office had called and asked me not to come it as the rains have disrupted work and people did not turn up for fear of being stuck there forever.
Went for a one hour long walk and got a bit lost. But the walk was through some interesting areas. Ended up at the back of warehouses and factories, and somehow in Mustafa bazaar, tho was disappointed cuz I expected flea market type things
Passed a beautiful Parsi housing complex called the Rustom baarg. Very colonial. And a lovely church called Gloria Church.
Ran home to be in time to take the kids for Karate. They practice in a church opp Dockyard railway station. A little way is is the ferry wharf, which teakes ppl to Uran Island. The are many ships/boats and trawlers. The big ship is more like a rectangle. Bhen is inquisitive and daring as always.
Went across to what I think is a fish market. The man said the light house we see isn’t one. In Chowder there’s a power base and one of its towers are this. We had all thought that this was the light house.
Came back and went for Zairat in the van (Maruti) as it was raining. Had to wear Saya else they would not let you in. It has become quite strict. The roza is in Bhindi Bazaar and this is a predominantly Bhora area. Apparently they have a lot of power in Bombay. From outside you cannot really see the majesty and splendor of the place esp. since it is surrounded by buildings. But inside it was as stunning as I remember it though a bit small. Everything is a bit small, cuz the last time that I saw it was in 1993. It was shocking and horrifying to see a bhora lady begging for alms. Saw a Sunni mosque very close by and apparently this was the cause of a bit of fighting. Moula has apparently cursed that place.
I realized the importance of wearing topi, beard and paren only now. In a city of millions it is very reassuring to be able to recognize fellow bhora’s even though they are so distant and not really very friendly. Overall the people I talk to on the road etc. (mainly for directions) have not been rude. They have mostly been friendly, if at all a bit abrupt. No one really wants to stop and chat. Was told that Bombay is like this.

Salaam Mumbai

2005-09-28T22:20:00.000+06:00

Wednesday the 21st September 2005

Ok. I am here in India. Somehow it doesn’t feel that weird yet. I guess that is because I may have not been out on the street enough. It was an amazing day. I have not slept for a long time, but when has that never bothered me when I have had fun.

I have quite an audience seated around me in the surprisingly small flat (for me) but comfortable enough once you get used to it. Mustafa, the youngest, barely coming up to my elbow when I sit down is the closest to me now. He is about to turn 5 in November and is the most mischievous of the two. Amazing with the computer. He can go to any game on it and knows quite a lot. He is also quite a talker. Once he gets going, there is very little chance to get away. Bhen tried to warn me, but I have no problem indulging him cause he is quite sweet. Right now he is staring at the screen as I type fascinated with my speed and singing along to Billy Joel’s for the longest time Is quite fascinated with my MP3 gadget and asking about how it works etc. He is amazingly proficient with the computer too for a kid his age.

I have not spent too much time yet with my sis’s eldest…Murtaza. He got back from school at 3.00 quite a dirty fella. Washed and ate. Now is studying geography and hitting the ground with his pencil in what I think is abject misery at having to do homework with a little bit of frustration included.

Well anyway highlights so far:

Left home at 1.00 to reach airport in an hour. Surprise was that a new x-ray machine meant that the days of digging into everyone’s luggage is over. The other surprise was seeing Aneek and Gehan (from Jetwing) there. Talked to them and was told that Gehan and his team were visiting Corbets nature reserve on work. Lucky buggers. One of the experts on his team learnt that I was going in to visit Mumbai, told me that there was some nice bird watching to be done. I totally misunderstood the context of the question, but luckily did not give myself away embarrassingly.
The plane to Chennai was flying 12 km above the earth (and the temperature outside was -53 degree Celsius. This is a Boeing 737. The altitude is about 39,000 feet above sea level. Food Sucks (kesar pista health juice…Uck and putrid and vomit tasting….
The safety demo makes you realize who truly fragile and vulnerable you are flying so high up there in the sky where your body was not really meant to go.
The excitement has begun. I know from the gasps and frozen smile I found on my face as it was pasted against the window as the plane taxied onto the runway and exploded or forced itself to defy gravity.
Where’s the in flight bloody entertainment? For a small moment, the view outside (against what you’d normally expect) was bloody stunning.. The lights down there were more amazing than the stars in the sky. I must regrettably admit.
Pilot announces over the intercom “…we have just departed from Colombo and hope to be in Chennai” @!^$!@#!!!!
1st impression of Chennai airport is quite good. Clean and tiled. A bit clinical though. Lots of advertising space unutilized. Lovely temple on a hill very close to the airport. Checking out and collecting baggage was a breeze.
Do not underestimate Indians. Even though they look like washerwomen (no offense to the Indians me included reading this, I have come to no better) they are well educated and killer smart.
The landing was also awesome. The spotting of the mainland, the lights on the roads, the hills etc.
The beach is 25 km away and town is about the same distance on the opposite side.
At first sight, the people look the same here. The road outside was peaceful being so early in the morn. Saw people sleeping on the pavement on the bare floor with nothing even for their heads. Many Indian cars and taxis, all calling out to me offering their services.
With my baggage have to walk 200 mtrs to the domestic terminal to get the flight to Mumbai 5 hours away. Luckily the bhora uncle from Colombo was with me and after some time I ditched him, keeping him in charge of the bags while I went for a walk. At the entrance the airport off the main high way a copped hammered a trishaw guy who had either offended him or someone in the road and for pushing the trishaw from the middle f the road. So bad they are no. Huge hoarding but hardly worth a second glance for content. Saw the sun rising from being the railway lines. It was great.
Why do my sentences always begin in broken Hindi and end in Sinhala. It’s weird. Why not English. Why always Sinhala. Is it something to do with both languages having the same root of Sanskrit. The nearest food joint it about a km away, so wasted under hearings, people getting up and cooking food on the pavement. No one wears bike helmets. Ate hot bhajiva and paid 2.50. My first Indian indulgence and Indian expense. Came to Minambakhan station. Very like Sri Lankan stations in architecture, layout and everything really. Kids coming out of slum area and shitting. Almost on the payment. Obviously on some days they use the left side and on others, they would use the right side, Man squatting in drain and shitting every other hoarding uses a celebrity.
Idea…U should do a guess the celebrity and show a small bit of it as a promotion.
Inside, walked about the airport. The upstairs isn’t done a 100 %. Sat in the restaurant and viewing gallery for a while. Tried the doors to the restricted areas that would take me o the roof, but the final door was locked.
At 8.15 x-rayed bags and got them checked in. At the final baggage check they spotted my pen knife, asked me to put it into my hand lugged. Had to go back cuz in runnig up and down, I had lost my hand luggage tag.
Since the Mumbai flight was a small one I gues,s they had got us a small 50 odd sweater place. The propeller was at the back near the tail. Got the wing set again, b ut this time I got up and walked around from seat to seat, cuz the first part was amazing.
Flat land, then intersperced with small hills and single mountains, small ranges and waterways. Then came to an area of many rivers and a really large range with big looking Grand Canyon style canyons. Was told that they might be the Nandi hills. Then after a bit the cloud cover was too thick to see anything. Can also see lots of cities and villages dotted with lroads speeding around them.
Flying 850 km per hour. Will take the 1 hr and 50 min flight and 10 min more for a final check up I guess. The wing was leaking or over flooing fuels. Cuz of technical problems the last 2 days have been grounded and this was the fist in a while.
Landing was a breeze. There was no checking out and the only slow down was waiting for the bags. Bhen and Huzi and mustu had come in their tiny maruti.
The approach saw us flying over some bad slums. The areas are like that apparently.
Driving was quite shocking. Pope honking and crossing the roads at random. They showed me the Dhaga…the largest slum area. Not a nice sight to see as a tourist must say. But to me it was all wonderful and amazing. Something knew to see at every glance.
Called Office in the evening. Hung around and unpacked. Had rotti and vege curry with yum Hyderabad specialty mithai.
In the evening went to Masgoun Park which is built over a reservoir on bhens scooter. Had Bhel puri and roasted Singh.
Walked up to it, saw the light house, docks etc. Played many tiring running around games with kids. Saw huge frogs and rats.
Kebabs with naan for dinner. Bhens in laws are in burhanpur so the house was quiet. The channels that are on cable are amazing. But a bit too much. In fact they are a bit off putting.

Misunderstood

2005-09-18T19:36:00.000+06:00

I think the biggest problem was that I was Mr. Understood and you were Miss.understood. Sometimes it was the other way round as well.

But see everything is a learning experience. At least that's wat my alter ego (the shrink in my head) tells myself. On another note, I think that we all have our own little shrink in our heads. Usually he the cause of our mental fuck ups. 1 in 4 people are clinically insane....why you guys edging away from me...

I'll be happy as long as I no that I have made some sort of impression in to life. As long as I have a role. As long as I was not just something that would be forgotten and insignificant as the last chocolate I ate. Everyone wants a legacy. I want mine as well.

So if I was to guess my role, I think it would be...fuck (panic) I don't know! Was it the nice guy who was always there, was it the one with whom many adventures were shared, was it...Was it...Was it. See part of the problem was that I did not know.

On the other hand, the mirror role was that I was in interesting company. I felt the butterflies again. I was made to feel like shit at times. I had someone to admire and learn from. I could talk to someone and share unforgettable moments with. I have made memories, many good ones. I have learnt about myself. I have learnt about other people. I have learnt what to do and what not to in future. The flutterby's were worth it. They always are. They always will be the worlds greatest excuse for fallingin love!

Wait. Oh but there's more I need to get off my overburdened head. Why do I insist on carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Because then I can feel invincible and emotionally charged at the same time. (doesn't make sense. Let me try again). Because I want to feel ALIVE. (once more...) because having issues is makes me vulnerable, and making vulnerable shows that I am such a sensitive guy, and being such a sensitive guy is who I am (and what the chicks dig) . That cannot be right. Is there another explanation ???

I have learnt yet again that I should trust my instincts. I was proved yet again that my instincts were always right remember the argument I had (with that idiot shrink in my head) telling me to trust my insticnts or else I'll be fucked. Well, sadly I am not fucked. My argument was that if I trusted my instincts, I would not experience. And experience is what life, esp my life is all about.

One more observation about me. Whenever i seem to be in a really high state of mind. I do crazy things and say crazy things, sing spur of the moment songs, say immensely funny and inspired things, like I'm giddy or something (people might think I'm drunk and they do) something terrible happens afterwards. Being in that state of mind is ALWAYS a forerunner to hitting the ground really hard. i feel really good, but i have realized that i need to be careful cuz the people around me (this usually happens when i'm with people) can't take too much of it and they might get pissed off at me. The point was that, as someone once told me is that when your immensely high or happy, your gonna come crashing down real fast. For me being in that state means that something bad (emotionally) is going to happen soon. its like a roller coaster, but without the fun. its like being psychic. i hate that. Cuz suddenly while being so happy, i am thinking to myself, shit this won't last long and i better prepare myself for the shit that's going to hit the fan later. Itsa bloody curse.

Shit always seems to happen to me when I am about to leave the country. Wonder why. Must avoid flying during relationships

Anyway...What I must remember from all this...

Be spontaneous about doing things
Trust your instincts
If you don't give it 100%, don't give it at all
You should not wait for love to make someone feel special. Make everyone feel special every moment of the day. You don't loose anything.
If you do not have trust, you have doubt and them you have nothing at all.
Understand someone - this is hard - learn to deal with them and there traits and habits
If you don't like something, figure out a way to make them know it (without feeling like a person with continuous issues)
Talk. It is not cheap. It is invaluable. If you can't talk, write. Writing is the window to your soul.
Its not enough to be the nice guy. Being the nice guy, doesn't mean that you have to take shit from someone.
You have to love yourself before you can love someone else
If you are shy, introvert, sensitive, very few friends in the world make it know in the beginning
Define what you want from the relationship at the beginning, where the relationship stands at frequent intervals, why your getting into it in the first place.
A relationship means you enjoy time with her more than with anything else without sacrificing time with friends, yourself, work and family. Its just that the priorities have changed
You are with that person for a reason. Else you might as well be with your friends. What makes a relationship a relationship is that whenyour with that person, its so much more intimate and different than being with anyone else.
Don't discuss important things via e-mail or SMS or even phones ifyou can help it. There's nothing as personal as face to face.
When you debate or argue, accept that you can be wrong. And know how to say your wrong even if you know your right sometimes. Its painful to keep hanging on to a stalemate.
Kiss and make up as often as possible
hold hands...Kiss...Feel...Get naughty...Get adventurous...Get passionate...
keep telling what makes that person so special. What you like about her, what you dislike about her )in a sensitive way please). And if you ask that kind of question be sure to be ready to deal with the answers.
I don't really believe in the fact that you should not deal with ex's once its over and that you can never keep contact with them. It really depends on how mature you are and how fast you get over them (obviously this doesn't apply to all situations and all people)
Don't generalize. I hate that. (Your just like every other guy with sex on their minds) everyone is unique
Both people can't be stubborn at the same time. If you decide to be the unstubborn one andlet up on any issue, the other person should not make it seem like she has won a victory
At the end of the day kiss and make up
go to sleep with a good night and wake up with a good morning (not everyday though cuz then it will becomes routine)
Break routine. Always.
The small tings matter.
Get friendly with the parents. (the closest way to a woman's heart, is through her mother :)
Get friendly with her inner circle and friends and relations
Get to know her dog...You can't guess how many times that could save you from embarrassing situations like visiting her late at night.
Always try to end the relationship on a high note. Like when you guys have done something good. When you guys are both thinking mostly happy thoughts. Not when you guys are screaming at the top of your voices at each other
Long distance never works. Never
Never make fun of her religion
Never say you hate anyone in her family or extended family for whatever reason, because as much as she hates them at that point, the moment you say you hate them (cuz your an outsider) she will hate you for that.
Never let religion be or become an issue
Don't say I'm sorry too much.
Don't let "I'm confused right now, so I can't tell you how I feel of or make a decision" become an excuse for not making a decision or saying something
Don't talk about past relationships (this was a hard lesson to learn and I am not sure if it applies to every person or situation)
never show intimate stuff you have written about someone else to her (another hard one to fathom)
Learn to see the sacrifices and changes of behavior the other person is making and thank them for it
be very careful before you judge someone

A recipe

2005-09-18T19:18:00.000+06:00

Recipe for the success of a relationship:

empathize
share
Be there
understand, and even if you can't understand, accept
physical passion
Butterflies
can't wait to be with each other or talk to each other
trust
be great friends
Within a group of your best friends, you have eyes only for him/her
make em feel special
tell em why you like em...tell em what you don't like in em
spend time together
give it all - 100% or not at all
don't take em for granted
Patience
stop being afraid of making mistakes - both people will mistakes - both have to work through them
understand that both people will have expectations and these will be different
try to be as honest as possible - both with yourself and your partner - figure out what you think you want out of the relationship before you go into it
never ever ever get hung up on what other people outside of the relationship expect it to be like - one week I am angry with my partner - the next week I adore him - that happens and is normal
nobody is perfect not even you
if you like who you are, so will others - everyone has their insecurities including you but you cannot be with someone whose insecurities border on paranoia and end up hurting you or them or destroying the trust in the relationship - people should not stop trying to get over their insecurities just because they start a relationship
if you have a relationship based solely on how good your partner or you look, the lust will fade and it will crumble. have a relationship with someone who will argue, fight and fuss with you but support you, encourage, comfort and intellectually stimulate you.
you will fight and argue and fuss and fight - you can't get away from that - it's not bad, it's a coping method and nobody is perfect. A relationship where you don't argue is boring and not worth it - no bad bits means you cannot appreciate the good bits.
You need time to yourself too. You may want to be with them 24/7 but even you will get bored and tired of hanging out with them all the time. You need to accept that you need time out to be just you - to be yourself and you need to accept that this doesn't mean that you don't love them. It means that you are you and they are them and both of you need space so you can appreciate being together. Who you are isn't who you are dating - it's who you are when with yourself, family, friends, colleagues and your partner. You are all those facets of yourself and who you are when you are alone is just as important as who you are when you are with others. 24/7 only works for awhile at that lusty period at the beginning of the relationship - afterwards you will gradually settle into a pattern. This is natural. - passion, sexual desire, nonsexual desire all go up and down during a relationship and that is normal. You cannot be someone who is happy all the time, horny all the time, loving all the time or lovable all the time. Be yourself and work on your faults and stop putting pressure on yourself and your partner to be constant in your levels of desire and passion. You are human not superhuman.
What makes a short term relationship work? Very very simple: WILLPOWER
What makes a long-term relationship work? Not so simple:
1. Shared Values. Eg.respect, fairness, honesty. (Because then it doesn't matter how diverse your interests and quirks are - you have a solid base)
2. Shared Beliefs and Priorities. (They need to be EQUALLY important to each other - eg. both need to have each other as their 3rd priority)
3. Similar Lifestyles. Empathy & Understanding comes from Knowledge - if their experiences and lifestyles are too different from yours they will never understand you, only accept you. How long can you be just accepted? (And you can't like anything you can't understand)
4. Equal Attractiveness & Equal Attraction. Follow this one and nip insecurity - the number 1 relationship wrecker, in the bud. (Damn this has turned into a fucking article from an agony aunt.)

Thanks ppl (Aysh, K, Mari) for contributing to this. As and when more stuff comes in, i will surely put them up. this has been good therapy for me as well. sorry you buggers have to put up with this. I promise i will stop focusing on myself in the near future.

Excitment is in the horizon. Its tingling the ends of my nerves. i am getting butterflies...tho of a different sort. soon, soon...the wait is killing

Blog Marathon

2005-09-18T19:15:00.000+06:00

You inspire me in weird and wonderful ways...lately though in frustrating bouts of hair tearing.

Hence the surge of writing

Well hopefully now it should be over

I have other challenges to deal with

My woe

2005-09-18T19:13:00.000+06:00

Let me define the reason why i like you my friend...Its because your amazing company. You make me happy when we talk. I like what you are and i would never want to change that. You have qualities of a person that i really admire. Passion, determination, ambition, intelligence, humour.

Lately i'm beginning to feel like we don't see eye to eye anymore. Things that i say spark fire in your eyes, and i don't want to be thick skinned anymore. i won't ignore or bite back that the hurt your comments cause me. I feel that if i wasn't there, you wouldnt miss me much. I wonder what my place is in you life.

Love Bites

2005-09-18T19:09:00.000+06:00

A friend sent me this...I really like it and it related to me. Some of it i knew, some of it i did not, but the reason i'm putting this up is so that v will be able to look it up anytime we want...

01. Do not fall in love every time you fall in bed. Learn to detach emotionally.
02. Sex does not equal commitment.
03. Do not revolve your entire life around him/her. Addiction is bad for your health!
04. Do not cling, act needy or demand. Doormats are for your feet, not your heart.
05. It's OK to say NO!
06. Stop talking so much. NEVER reveal everything.
07. Do not grill them or their friends for information.
08. Master the art of LISTENING.
09. Treat him/her as you would your best friend.
10. Friendship creates long term love and comes before sex.
11. FORGET about fixing your partner. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
12. Your choice of partner is a reflection of who you are and who you are not!
13. Enjoy the moment first. Live in the present.
14. Don't worry about the ex's or start naming your future children.
15. NEVER read their journal or go through their paperwork.
16. If you have no trust, you have no relationship.
17. Allow space and freedom between you.
18. DO NOT always be available.
19. Calling frequently is a turn off and signals insecurity, neediness and control.
20. Open your eyes to lies and cheating, OR... close them...justify the bad behavior, and live with the consequences.
21. Little or no eye contact? Start walking. They won't even notice your gone.
22. Anyone preoccupied with their physical appearance and dress, usually have very little or nothing to offer from within. Look beyond the physical!
23. Never compromise your values.
24. If you OVER give, you will lose your lover and her/his respect.
25. DO NOT LOSE YOUR IDENTITY.
26. If someone REALLY wants to be with you, they will be.
27. State your personal rules in the very beginning or expect them to be broken.
28. If they ask to be just friends, be just that and look elsewhere for a love partner.
29. If someone wants to really be with you, they will. If they keep giving reasons for not calling or say they are extremely busy, GET THE HINT, leave them alone.
30. Don't ever give up your friends for him/her.
31. If your partner one day leaves you, be sure you have friends, money, a career and a life of your own which you never gave up. If you do not, who do you have to blame but yourself!

Finally...

" No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it Is by CHOICE"

A weekend ending in high spirits

2005-09-13T19:17:00.001+06:00

I did not expect anyone to actually read this thinking that after 6 months, ppl would have forgotten to keep checking. but did not realize that you can put in an alert on the blog to new updates. I should be embarrassed, but strangely i am not. it helps that you are not in the country. I am comforted actually that you actually read this an replied. Anyway thank you for the reply.

Yo yo yo...

Had an awesome workshop weekend. (See, my fears are unfounded). It was good especially to see everyone working and being passionate over a challenge that i created. Typical KIT Challenge fashion. Fill a muttiya with water using water brought from the ocean in cupped hands, mouth, t-shirt and because i felt sorry for them...a cup. Then they had to build the highest sand castle. Micky's group was very innovtive in sitting in a circle facing each other and pushing in sand until it heaped up. Then they had to cook a fish and eat it completly with a loaf of bread. It was quite satisfying to know that they had to suffer MY creations. Ha ha...(well deserved) evil laugh...

Oh the poor dead whale. if only it could see its dead entrails popping out of its torn skin as it lay beached on the beach while an evil looking monstrous metal monster tore it into bite sized chunks to bury it on the beach in front of our hotel...the Coral sands. That beach will never be the same if i ever go there again. Imaine having your guts torn out. Going to whale hevan in pieces.Urgh!

It didnt stop me from having a swim in the ocean about a km away. i would not normally have done so, so close to the putrid smell of a once graceful amazing creature...but thought i'd keep the foreigner company. It was worth it tho. So far down wind that the action far away didn't seem to bother us or the other people on this side of the beach. There was a really strong current dragging us parallel to the beach Southwards. I cldnt help imagining how helpless i'd be if the sea drags me out to the ocean and tears me to bits on the outlying coral reefs. The ocean has always scared me a bit. i guess thats why i'm not such a beach or down south person. Guess it wouldnt be the case if i was a stronger swimmer of if i had any experience seeing the amazing sights of the underwater world thru scuba or snorkeling. i guess its a classic case of fearing the unknown devil...

The boys of the area were having a bathe in the sea close to me and the foreigner. they were probably confused about whether i was a foreigner or not, so they focused all their attention on the foreigner. By that i mean, bringing to notice that their dicks were much bigger than his. showing us their bare bottom and suddenly launching into a fit of cartwheels and summersaults. i didnt know whether it was harmless fun or some deep bitter hatred felt towards my white skinned friend??? My instinct tell me that its the former, but i have doubts.

2005-09-13T19:17:00.000+06:00

I did not expect anyone to actually read this thinking that after 6 months, ppl would have forgotten to keep checking. but did not realize that you can put in an alert on the blog to new updates. I should be embarrassed, but strangely i am not. it helps that you are not in the country. I am comforted actually that you actually read this an replied. Anyway thank you for the reply.

Yo yo yo...

Had an awesome workshop weekend. (See, my fears are unfounded). It was good especially to see everyone working and being passionate over a challenge that i created. Typical KIT Challenge fashion. Fill a muttiya with water using water brought from the ocean in cupped hands, mouth, t-shirt and because i felt sorry for them...a cup. Then they had to build the highest sand castle. Micky's group was very innovtive in sitting in a circle facing each other and pushing in sand until it heaped up. Then they had to cook a fish and eat it completly with a loaf of bread. It was quite satisfying to know that they had to suffer MY creations. Ha ha...(well deserved) evil laugh...

Oh the poor dead whale. if only it could see its dead entrails popping out of its torn skin as it lay beached on the beach while an evil looking monstrous metal monster tore it into bite sized chunks to bury it on the beach in front of our hotel...the Coral sands. That beach will never be the same if i ever go there again.

It didnt stop me from having a swim in the ocean about a km away. i would not normally have done so, so close to the putrid smell of a once graceful amazing creature...but thought i'd keep the foreigner company. It was worth it tho. So far down wind that the action far away didn't seem to bother us or the other people on this side of the beach. There was a really strong current dragging us parallel to the beach Southwards. I cldnt help imagining how helpless i'd be if the sea drags me out to the ocean and tears me to bits on the outlying coral reefs. The ocean has always scared me a bit. i guess thats why i'm not such a beach or down south person. Guess it wouldnt be the case if i was a stronger swimmer of if i had any experience seeing the amazing sights of the underwater world thru scuba or snorkeling. i guess its a classic case of fearing the unknown devil...

The boys of the area were having a bathe in the sea close to me and the foreigner. they were probably confused about whether i was a foreigner or not, so they focused all their attention on the foreigner. By that i mean, bringing to notice that their dicks were much bigger than his. showing us their bare bottom and suddenly launching into a fit of cartwheels and summersaults. i didnt know whether it was harmless fun or some deep bitter hatred felt towards my white skinned friend??? My instinct tell me that its the former, but i have doubts.

2005-09-09T08:48:00.000+06:00

(Don't read this ok)

Gosh..gosh..gosh....

Time flies. It really flies and stops for no man (or woman). I realized that its been 6 months since i last wrote. I thought that i don't need the blog anymore. I was wrong. So wrong. I really do need it.i am lazy thats all. I can't even find it in myself to wake up on time for work. I need it because its an outlet for my crazy and weird emotions. My life isnt really that weird. Only i am...

It shouldnt be right that you feel alone when your in company. Thats not fair. especially when you don't want to feel alone. I'm beginning to get that sinking feeling that no one understands me...or that no one wants to. The last time i felt this was when i went thru some tough times with family (growing pains i guess you'd call it). What is the cause of this. i don't want to get into this now.

Maybe the fault that i have so few friends is mine. I didn't realize till very recently that you have to put a lot of effort into making friendships work. They just don't fall into your lap. Even with knowing this, i am not doing anything about it. Shame on me. Do i really think that i can live my life alone. Do i think that someone will arrive who will want to be with me so much that i wouldnt have to worry about trying hard to making it work. It will work on its its steam.

Gosh this sounds pathetic. i don't care. It's my blog. And if i can't be pathetic in here, where else can i be pathetic. Maybe if i am pathetic here, i won't be pathetic in life. See..another reason why i need you...my blog

i feel like i should give you a name. Would you like to be a male or a female? How about dost (friend). well that will have to do till i come up with a better one.

What do i really want. I want to feel the love. They say that love happens when the other knows all your faults, but forgives you for them and loves you regardless. I'm willing to put up any sacrifice to feel the love, to have someone who cares about me, what i'm feeling and thinking. who is there for me, supports and encourages me. Who is my friend, but more. The kind that will not tell me i told you so. the kind who will be telling me its gonna be alright.

I look forward to some alone time and indulgence this weekend at Hikkaduwa. Strange that even in an opportunity to be with company i'd rather be alone. But that is only cause the company isnt really the kind where i can be my self. Its a workshop. A paid holiday.

I'm begining to wonder if i really know my self. thats bullshit. i do. I do know myself. and i love myself. I will not allow anyone to make me feel any less than i am.

see you later dost.

Your pathetic friend

PS: I hope you didn't read this...

Choice or fate...fate or choice

2005-03-13T20:03:00.000+06:00

get up early, get up late, have breakfast, leave home without it, sms frnd that i'm getting late, keep frnd waiting, walk to the galle road, take a bus, have lunch out, take lunch with me, watchmovie, go to work, pray, read a book.......

They say that choices make you who you are. I thought that who you are is decided upon by your fate. So now i have a choice between choosing what to believe. Is is the choices you make that makes you who you are, or is it fate and some other power (and you are who you are no matter what you do).

Is there another trouser leg of time....

thought of a conversation i had a long time ago hanging out at the rowing club overlooking the beire flooded by a nice moon (after the play "My Way". Was talking to one of the most amazing girls i have known about gay people. I was curious to know that if being gay came about as a result of it being in the genes or as a result of social reasons...ie the way and environment in which he is born in. I used to think that it was the latter. That he would be pushed into discoverin this alternate self of his that emerges the more society around him tries to shun it. That it is as a result of what he see around him while growing up. The influencers, the people he hangs out with, the way his parents treated him etc. But what i began to realise is that it could partially be as a result of some genes hidden in his sytem (which could be awoken by society). some genetic reason that may have come from his parents or even before.

So the point is that who you are could not only be the result of your choices and fate...it could also be in your genes or a somethin created by your interaction with the world.

But i think that the bigger point of all this MUST be that what ever you are however you may be created into becomin who you are...you must learn to love yourself. It can be done! Either find your amazingness within you, yourself, or enlist the aid of some one who loves you already. i guess, we must be inding it hard to look within ourselves because we have eyes that face ahead...but thats a silly literal reason not to be able to learn to love who you are. I certainly and firmly beleive that everyone is amazing. That everyone has something to offer me and the world. (this ended up becoming quite a sermon didn't it...)

Don't Panic

2005-03-10T18:40:00.001+06:00

Yep. why should you panic when you realise that one of my favourite books is going to be made into a movie and its gonna come out very soon...the hitchikers guide to the galaxy- rocks. I am so glad i own the entire set (thank to you bear)...I'm re-reading it again. The saddest thing is that i can't stay up the whole night reading, although i would love to...cuz i keep falling asleep.

Some words of wisdom, thanks to the bear again...

From school i take a bus home...
From there, i switch over to my magic carpet

If there were no children...would there be any fairy tales.

Why are fairy tales only for children. Are adults so hard headed that they don't believe in them anymore. Shame on you people who have stopped believing. When you think about it, a lot things we take for granted could be put into the fairy tale category. Like religion or GOD. Shit, this is such a deep subject. I am not even sure of what i feel about it. I know that i really respect my religion and want to learn more abt it. That is not as easy as it sounds. But the more i learn, the more i am amazed by it. That is how religion should be. Not somethin thatyou by heart or something that is force fed into your brain from childhood.

I feel weird blindly following things without understanding much about it. Maybe thats why i'm not holy in the holy sense of the word. But its what you believe that matters right? Not how you believe. I mean just cuz you don't pray, doesnt mean you don't believe in a GOD. Read Terry Pratchetts' Small Gods for more details on GODs and belief.

What is really frustrating is when people force religion onto you. You HAVE to do this, have to go to church or mosque, eat with your head covered, pray 5 times a day, avoid eating any shell fish cuz they don't have scales on them (???), don't go out at night, associate with bad people etc. etc. Religion is used as an excuse to enforce punishment and martial law in the house.

So what can you do about it. Fight it, go with the flow, protest silently, become a priest or hermit and search for answers seated on the top of some cold, bleak mountain? What can you do when a religion is beaten into you, or the bleeding holy inquisition is after you. Why the F can't we be left alone with our beliefs, thoughts, lives etc. It really silly when you think about it from say...an aliens point of view. Fighting over something thats really only in peoples mind)...or on the walls or up as statues.) But what to do...bite the bullet and suffer.

Is it religion that must guide your choices, or is it what you belive to be right. that means that right and religion sound like the same thing. So in other words by we are believing in religion, we are believing in what is right, surrounded by a lot or tradition and mumbo jumbo. Hmmm...try telling that to mum.

Should religion be peoples choice. I don't know. I probably think not, cuz then most people would abuse it (not that they don't already do it). But probably the way its practised should be individual choice. Then again maybe not...(i'm turning out to be a bad prophet aren't i).

But i do know and believe that every body needs a religion of somesort. Because what a religion of anysort gives you is something to believe in. Humans in general need something to believe in. Otherwise who can they blame when things go right or wrong, when they cannot find the answers to the great questions of life, the universe and everything? (GOD is beginning to sound like a scape goat...he sometimes is)

Who's your daddy :)

2005-03-03T21:23:00.000+06:00

My happy happy song

Sunny days sweeping up
Clouds away
On my way to where the air is clean
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Seasame street
How to get to Seasme street.

Come and play
Everything's A ok
On my way to learn the ABC's
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Seasame street
How to get to Seasme street.

I ate my cake and blammed it on fate

2005-03-03T10:54:00.000+06:00

Fate...What is it about those 4 letters that we feel the need to blame unexplained and inexplicable events in our lives to it? What does it mean? Who is fate? Something created by god. Or like in Pratchet a goddess herself? Fate makes it sound like there was some mega huge master plan which we don't know about and somehow runs our life. "It is written in our fate." Quite a lot of things must be written in them. Wish i knew what it was so i could prepare myself. Maybe the point is that i should not be prepared. That fate is life's little accidents. The things that make life interesting and give us something to look forward to.

Maybe there is such a master plan. It sounds feasible. Maybe god did write out our fate when he created each of us. (that is if you believe that you were created by GOD...lets assume you do). It makes things so easy to explain. on the other hand...isn't it such a human thing to want to be curious, break all assumptions and traditions. Isnt it our GOD given right to exercise our mind. And use it to question things, in the forlorn hope that we will get some answers. Some one please give me some answers dammit!!#@#@#@

Serendipity. That is much nicer word. That sounds more natural, so accidental...almost human.

Pluck Yew

2005-03-01T18:47:00.000+06:00

Giving the Finger

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of allcaptured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossibleto draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck>>yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset And began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!"

"PLUCK YEW!"

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

And yew thought yew knew everything

Who is the real scribe

2005-03-01T17:56:00.000+06:00

Gosh, there are so many ppl who write so much more interestingly than me. Some of them even used to write for a living. What am i doing embarrassing myself by letting my mediocre work be seen by all you ppl. Who am i kidding. Aren't you embarrassed to be reading all this crap. Protest! Strike! Jihad! Tell someone to not let ppl who cannot write, write.

I finally got MSN after donkey's years. Don't know how long that will last. i wish i had go it a year ago. i could have used it then.

It feels good to be sick when you know there are people around to take care of you

2005-02-27T00:33:00.000+06:00

another night of wild stampeding horses
across the expanse of my brain
when before me i see
the soft caress o a hand on my forehead
the sweet and gentle pillow of her lap
the music of a murmur
lying back in lovers arms
comforted by the feel of skin against skin so tender
so soft like the breeze through the trees

Are these just hallucinations
or the yearnings of a fever ridden mind

The sickness

2005-02-27T00:19:00.001+06:00

My tortoured flesh
Reeling an writhing in agony
twisting and turning
while my spine coils around my anotomy
heads pounding
even my hurts hurting
screaming in pain
without anyone listening
While my fever burns in me
frying my brain
escaping is not an option
surving on a prayer
that a blessed sleep will take over
comforted by the thought
that a sickenss is bearable
if there are people who care

The back gave me warning
But there was nothing to do
my body was sceaming in agony
my mind was numb with fear
wallowing in pain
letting the fever wash through and over
suffering, blinded, fearful and lonely
hoping that tomorrow will be brighter
just not knowing if i'll be able to get through

Who are you...really

2005-02-27T00:19:00.000+06:00

I agree that you need to find yourself. to find what your identity is, what niche you belong to. Create your character as it were. BUT i think that finding your self is a life long and life time endeavor. I think if you find out enough to be able to say that you love yourself...to shout out to the world that you are bloody amazing...you have achieved something. i know people like that. I know people who are amazing, but don't accept it as readily i as i do.I thought that i could never love some one else until i could first love myself. I was right. My poor girlfriend had to first convince me that i was amazing, before i found the guts to tell her some thing she already knew...that i loved her.My point is that i should not think that because i don't know myself enough, and because what i find of my self is not great, i will not live my life. Maybe i have got the wrong end of the proverbial stick. Maybe its enough to learn as much about you as you need to love yourself. Let the people who love you, learn and learn to love whatever else that they find out about you. I don't know....this is all very confusing.

Advice is a form of investment

2005-02-27T00:18:00.000+06:00

Advice is something you tell others hoping that in the future they will tell it back to you. The advice you give, in my experience is something that you would have told your self if you were in the same situations. But of course, when you get into that situation, that particular bit of advice doesn't make so much sense to you anymore. That's why you would need someone else to tell it back to you. Advice then, is some sort of investment into your future security. Just hope that the person you gave your advice to is still around to give it back to you.

2005-02-27T00:13:00.000+06:00

12 Steps To Get 250 Mb Hotmail Inbox

As we all know that Hotmail has been in process of upgrading its free accounts to 250 MB. Some of us have already got their accounts upgraded but most of the people are still having 2 MB of space. So here is a small process to upgrade your account. Initially it will be upgraded to 25 MB and after 30 days it will be upgraded to 250 MB. The hitch is that you have to keep checking your account everyday for the next 30 days i think.

1) Login ur hotmail account and go to options.
2) Go to "Personal"
3) Click "My Profile"
4) Change Country to "United States" Wait for browser to load United states settings.
5) Change the state to "Florida" and zip code "33332"
6) Click "update" 7
) Click "Continue"
8) Go to "Language" and make sure its "English"
9) To preserve your emails in your inbox, create a temporary folder and put all your emails from your inbox into that. I suppose I don?t have to give details on how to create a folder and transferring the mails into that?we all know that don?t we
10)Paste this link in the same browser. http://by17fd.bay17.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/Accountclose
11) Wait until the Screen says you're Hotmail is Closed and ready to be deleted. Click "Close Account".Go back to login page and relogin to ur hotmail account..!!
12 ) Your account size will now increase to 25 MB which a mnth later becomes 250 mb.

Note: Remember to Backup or Store Your Emails in a Safe Place as There is a Risk of Losing old Mails in somecases...But while we tested our data remained safe!. We are not responsible for any loss or Damage caused by the Trick above.

2005-02-27T00:10:00.000+06:00

How do you know the world round. Can you prove it for yourself. Or do u believe it only cuz some one told you it is round. How do you know that it is flat and carried on the back of a turtle supported by 4 elephants??? Wasnt there a line in Men in Black where Tommy Lee Jones says something like 1500 years ago they belived the world was flat. 500 years ago they believed the world was round. What will you believe tomorrow?

The entire world and everything we belive in is probably a farse or some giant American conspiracy. Was it not the Greeks who put a round world on the back of Atlas. That means that they knew the world was round way before Columbus did his experiment to prove it to the world in his voyage where he discovered America by accident. These ar thoughts put in my head by those two crazy's Azi and Ramesh. I can't be bothered yet to check my facts.

Moulan Rouge

2005-02-27T00:02:00.000+06:00

Is that how you spell it. Just finished watching the movie. Damn, why do romantic movies end up being such emotional onions for me. It all started with 50 1st dates. Weird but true.

"The greatest thing you'll ever know is to love and be loved in return"

Thats it for this blog. Thats all i wanted to say.

Bugger off

2005-02-26T21:32:00.000+06:00

There is a thin line between what is swearing and what is a polite request :) Eg: Bugger off is more like a fantasizing request than a swear word depending on the person it is used on, the tone and context. I guess some people have a line that is thicker than others. But now this begs the question why swear at all. I like hanging around this person who doesn't believe in swearing. Of course i find that i swear a lot when i am excited and amazed. But why should i? Its gonna be something difficult to unlearn. But i'll be all the better a person if i can.

First came hi, then came a baby carriage

2005-02-22T21:16:00.000+06:00

how does a relationship begin? If someone were to meet another someone for the first time in their lives, an like them, how can they go abt beginning a relationship. Do they go headline into it. Or is friendship required before companionship before love. Should you not take it easy, as a friend once told me, find all you can abt that person. find out if the 2 of you are comfortable in each other company (before their pants). Then probably find more excused to be in each others company. I guess that would be the natural flow of things. But what if through out this time, all you can think about is getting into the other persons time. Self - restraint my child...the word is self-restraint. Damn...why couldn't the word be Seize the moment.

A name

2005-02-22T20:57:00.000+06:00

Shit...My voice is going again. Whats wrong with my throat. I feel like a bloody frog with a cold. Its not healed after like 2 weeks already. Its like some one has poured saw dust down my throat, or I'm swallowing sand. i've got a sore in my throat!

Whats in a name...isn't a name a sacred thing that only really and truly belongs to you. All the subsequent Murtaza's you meet will be judges based on first ever Murtaza you met. It is an identity that only you own. so shouldnt u hold on to your name. What does a nickname mean. Especially when u find that people don't know your real name. Am i regretting that i started allowin people to call me MAT insteand of sticking to Murtaza. Probably. The reason i did that is cuz i used to get pissed if they got it wrong.but isnt better a little wrong, than something alltogether new. on the other hand...is it really so important. i know people who go around all their lives without anyone ever using their real name. so what. The purpose of a name is to only be somthing that uyou can be recognised by. like a user id. And most ppl have many user ID's right. i have abt 3. is it something to get worked up abt. my gut says yes. but i guess its too late for the MAT users to become murtaza (and i have only myself to lame or that), but i'll be happy as long as they know that i have a name that is murtaza.

My legacy

2005-02-22T20:43:00.002+06:00

I'm wondering....am i doing this for people to read, or just for my benefit. If i am doing this for your benefit then won't the content be different to if i was doing this for me. i would like this to be something only for me...that i let close friends read if they want to. Then maybe I'll be less self conscious or less trying to impress and more myself. it feels a bit naked tho...

So...truly truly fuck the world. Fuck the world for all its worth. Every inch of planet earth. that a start isn't it.

On the other hand, even tho what ever i say are the little thoughts that run around in my head, they might inadvertently hurt someone else. The way i write is the way i think. More or less exactly that way. A little raw and 'unclutured'. Thats probably the problem, tho i want to put in a clause...

This message contains confidential information intended only for a specific individual and purpose (me and mine), and is protected by the hand of doom. You are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited. If you do, then you will be taken to the courts of hell. The author will not be held responsible for any emotional injury that may result.

On the other other hand (the third one), it was very sweetly (the sweet that borders on the i'd like to kick your ass kind) pointed out to me that i have hurt some people feelings by what i wrote abt invaders soming to Sri Lanka and swallowing up our culture. I should apologise for calling them fuckers. i do feel strongly that what was called Sri Lanka culture has been eroded, but that doesnt mean that i can go around calling people names. Becaue i know people now and may know more in the future who are from that race. come to think of it, even i am a foreighn fucker whose ancestors had come to take advantage of lil 'ol Sri Lanka. Isnt this how racial hate and holy JIHAD's begin?

Randome Thoughts

2005-02-20T20:45:00.000+06:00

Wonder what this new field called link does. Can experiment later...

My boss walked n a while ago and asked abt a presentation i was supposed to do. i told him i had started on it. I better finish it for tomorrow. damn. I have 2 more to be briefed to me on monday. Current campaigns...Tokyo cement (priority), CFC Avurudu, and whatever else that resulted in the mtg last Friday.

"Too much light can blind you" one of my own ones. Works on a literal as well as philosophical mumbo jumbo level

Do you think our culture is unrefined or undeveloped if you were to put it next to say the french, or the Egyptians or the romans. Even considering our 2500 year history. And considering that we have been so susceptible to foreign rule, dominance, invasion that our culture did not really get a chance to flourish before some other Aryan, Chola, Portuguese, Dutch or British fuckers came and exerted their influence. To think that part of Sri lank has become extinct. Think the vedda's, naga's, dasa's and yakka's. God knows what else. Nowadays i think our traditions of music and dance is threatened, not to mention forests, and animals...but back to culture.What sparked this thinking is, why do we eat in such a messy way compared to say the French with their sophisticated fork and spoon rituals or even say the Chinese. I mean just look at the tea ceremony. Do we have anything like that. What does this mean. That we are simple. Or backward. No wonder that when Vijeya landed, he wanted to civilize us uncultured bastards...

"Aid comes in proportion to the trouble one is in"...

Abt decisions...How can you make decisions. Let alone right decisions. the obvious answer to this is knowledge. But can you have knowledge of the future. No. then how do u know to make the right choice...and how do you know its gonna be rite. Especially when you think that every decision you make is gonna be life altering. Who will guide you? how wld you know if your wrong.Maybe its like pratcet says, that for every choice you make, there is another phase space or another reality where the choice that you did not make is made. The other trouser leg of time. So what ever choice you make in this reality is the right choice, no matter what happens as a result of this choice. Thats one way to look at it. Another way, i guess, would be to just look away!

Do you realize that every one is selfish...starting from our mothers. This was our first lesson in CIM by our great lecturer Adam. It lead to desires, and how everyone wants things that are scarce. (Makes you wonder how the concept of marketing or markets could survive in a world of Buddhists who try so hard to eliminate desire). anyway, as i was saying...every one is selfish. Maybe out of a desire to not get hurt. Cuz we are all afraid of hurt, frightened of the world. Maybe in fact hiding from the world. EG: Arent we at some point afraid of truly being ourselves. Of standing up to the world an saying FUCK OFF. either were afraid of the consequences, or frightened of letting ourselves get hurt. Therfore we hide behind the shelters we have created for ourselves. Behind our spectacles, our jokes, our jobs, clothes, mannerisms. Is the life of an adult all a farce.

Heavy stuff. I know.

Dante

2005-02-20T13:12:00.000+06:00

Through me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric moved:

To rear me was the task of power divine, Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon, ye who enter here."

(a simple do not enter sighn would have sufficed over the gates of hell. This is what happens when you get a creative bugger...they right things that normal people would not understand)

The evil that lurks within you

2005-02-19T23:27:00.000+06:00

Dripping with slick, sweat and slime.
Crawling on legless feet
Like a monster banished from the nether reaches of the deep
One eye revealing the disgust within
As it sees out, seeking to spite and fright
A nightmare of the sickest kind.

Born out of fire
From a desire consumed by lust
Created this monster
A mistake craving vengeance

That which should not have been
Is now happening
It’s out, loose, away and about
This creature horridly deformed
A product of a race with no regard for their wrongs

(Written on 19th of Oct 2004 – just the need to write something with monsters in it. Don't ask...i was angry )

That awful word - pride

2005-02-19T23:26:00.000+06:00

A monster lurks
Hidden inside behind every word, breath and action.
It awakens at times
When manly pride is let loose
And displays itself in actions
Selfish and crude

Is it a monster or your own laziness
to control our emotions and instinctive reactions
when were feeling trapped within us.
Why do we lash out
ignoring our conscious
left with so much embarrassment

when pride rises out like a shroud over sight
leaking into your mind and taking control
you lash out to the helpless
digging your own hole
disregarding the disgust that disguises and hides
who you really are and what you
truly believe in.

(Written on 19th of Oct 2004 – written out of the feeling of foolishness felt when you try to get people to give you or do things that they don’t want to. But you still insist cause once you asked, and they refusd, you don’t wanna stop cuz of your foolish pride)

Other randome stuff. now don't complain ok

2005-02-19T23:23:00.000+06:00

When you’re sad and lonely…
Tired of your own company
Dreaming of a fairytale that comes true only on TV
Missing a warm embrace on a cool night

and wondering if this is how my life fated to be

(When I was feeling melancholy while watching swan princess on tv. 14/09/04)

Have you ever had the feeling that time and life is passing you by, while your standing shellshockedstill and dumb and helpless in the centre of all this activity. As if you great plan has been misplaced by the powers that be. At times it’s almost as if your moving backwards.

"its your fault !”

Do you wake up to happiness
Or repent your past foolishness
Is your day full of hope and great of deeds yet to spring forth?
Or are you crying over your regrets.

Pain, anger, pride, hate, fear
Drive a mind to the chasm of despair
Not realizing that happiness is a choice
Of leaping high rather than falling
A choice we’re too easily avoiding.

Inspired by this email: - written on 19th of Oct 2004
“You don’t find happiness in the absence of problems, you find it in spite of your problems!” You choose it.
If you wake up saying, “I hope I have a good day, and then I'll be happy”, you never will be.
In a Nutshell:
You make the choice to be happy first. Happiness is a daily decision.

The aftermath

2005-02-19T23:22:00.000+06:00

Thousands have lost their lives. To them the ordeal is over. But to those who survive, it has only just begun.

The awesome, amazing power of water. How many of us could ever suspect that water could be so destructive. Ironically, we all know that it is essential for life; no we have seen it washing away lives and homes with it. A man told described its effect to me, “it’s like a giant hand crushing a Vesak Lantern.” Last week I was in the affected areas of Hambantota and Tangalle. I saw it. But I did no believe it. The closest that I can come to imagining it is to see a huge hand sweeping away the pieces off a monopoly board.

I did not understand the scale or enormity of the destruction even as I was watching it unfold on TV and Radio. Surrounding me was a series of gruesome facts and images reminiscent of a horror movie. As I stood amidst a shattered house in Tangalle, I still could not comprehend the extent of the destruction around me. A war could not have caused more damage. Nothing man made was upright. Crushed to the foundations. At places (like Kahawa – North of Hikaduwa ) even the foundations of homes were plucked out of the ground.

The destruction of homes and the wreckage of the families left behid chilled me more than the bodies that I saw hauled out of the lagoon 5 days after the the tsunami. They had lost every recognisable human trace and were just reduced to being a bloated vessal that was once human.

What numbed me was a thought that crossed my mind (as I listened to a young man recount the last few moments before his younger sister was wretched away from his grasp by the onrushing water) was…what if this had happned to me. Where would I have found the courage to ontinue to live as Isalvage what remains of my home. What of my lost dignity as I am compelled to stand by the roadside, begging and fighting for aid. Would I be shutting my mind to the loss of my family and friends who were but a moment before laughing over a small joke. Would I have given up hope for survival or just survived on hope.

I remember overhearing some foreign photographers talking about the lack of good photographs during this assignment. About how people were just emotionless. Did they not realise that we have still not come to terms with what has happened around us. How could we have cried when we had no tears left to shed. How could we accept what has happened, when our minds cannot accept or even believe it.

Yet, why is that everywhere I look, people seem to be picking up their pieces and fighting to face the next day bravely in defiance to whatever nature throws at them. How is that people are surviving. Is it because of the outside aid that we they are recieveing. Because of the feeling that there are people that care for them and their future. Yes, this has something to do with it. But I think the reason that we seem to be slowly moving on is Human Spirit (or probably selective amnesia). The fact that we can lock away the pain and suffering and concentrate only on the task at hand and the future…as far as we dare see. The conviction that we have to move on and build over our lost dreams. For that can be the only answer to how we are the most succesul race that we are. How else can we explain our survival of all the catostrophies

The tragedy is not the wave or the loss of lives. It is the lives that were not lost.

The flute charmer

2005-02-19T23:19:00.000+06:00

Breathe…softly…soothingly
Feel your heart, your mind and your soul.
Blowing from you lungs
In sync and in control

Purse your lips and pretend like a lover
About to impart love ever after
Joined from the lip in rhythm together
Stop for nothing, this is your dream.

The power! the master and the creator
An extension of your inner self
Thru an instrument of music
Thus begins the journey,
a lifetime of creating history.

(From period when i was fascinated by the instrument)

Now what....

2005-02-19T22:58:00.000+06:00

Time to go home i guess. Yay. back to my book. Right now reading charms pratchet. The 5th elephant. Do i have to say its awsome! Still, i am not over colin de silva tho. i hope i will never be. its like i did not want it to end. It would be just perfect if i'd died after. Very sad it ended. Sadder still to know that i think he's died. i highly rate and recommned his books. The 2 i read were winds of Sinhala and Founts of Sinhala.

Looking forward to the concert on Monday. not looking forward to anything else that would happen on Monday tho. 8.00 bloody am meeting. i only hope i wake up. The only good thing is that we get yummy kiribath. this is obviosly a CIMA mtg. A lot of my frnds are coming for this hope fully, Bludge, me, azi, kamila, shyala, hopefully mika, murtaza, mufu, dhushy and julaine. That abt covers it i think. Ayesha too will be coming.

Still haveone more holiday to go. Sunday will probably be wake up late....cycle to work, giving my photos to print for the ad aid charity auction, mosq for lunch. After that its a bit hazy. Wanna watch aviator and school o rock hopefully at some point.

had an experience with the cops. Got a ticket cuz i was drivin a car that had had the signal lights stolen. when i told this to the big loon of a copp, he actually apologised for giving me the ticket!!!@# very shockin behaiviour for a copper. After the usual rastiyadu i go to collect my licence. Then the buggers cannot find it. BUT they were very POLITE. Unbeleivable. What are the word of coppers coming to. Theywasked me to sit, told me that theyd look for it and to come tmrow. Then i go a few days later, and they still can't find it. This other bugger got everyone else to wait while he looked for it. it was still lost. He actually took down my no. n said he'd call me!@!@!#!!## After ui left, and got in the bus to come to wrk, he actually CALLED me. and said he found it. Then, finally after i collected it today, i thanked him, and he said he shld be apologising to me instead. WOWOWWOWOWOW. It really shock the foundations of belief i had built up of copppers being down right ass holes. Welawatte police rocks!

In more news of my life (ppl reading this can feel free to skim these boring bits...it'l probably be me who skims it anyway) got a hair cut and a massage. For once i came out with a satisfied cut. Although the bummer being that the price had increaed to a freakin 100 bucks. That is borderline, and my limit. better look for another place. 80 is on the high side, 60 is ideal.

Lets see what other old stuff i have done in the past i cn put up....Shit 11.15. Time to go home.

This is my Philosophy

2005-02-19T19:16:00.000+06:00

i think that this is my philosophy when it comes to exploring the country side....

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson, poet, philosopher

he he

2005-02-19T19:14:00.000+06:00

Sex is not the answer...

Sex is the question. Yes is the answer!

When your in love

2005-02-19T19:08:00.000+06:00

I didn't realise i was in this kid of soppy soppy mood. But i found this interesting and what better place to put it up so that you might find it interesting to...

Boys, just do it!----Tell her you think shes cool. Tell her why you think shes so cool. Smell her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres. Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river; shell scream and fight you but secretly, shell love it. Hold her hand and skip. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her. Tell her she looks pretty. Let her pay for stuff if she wants to. Introduce her to your friends as The coolest girl I know. Sit in the park and talk to her. Take her to the library, and playgrounds, and train stations. Tell her dirty jokes. Tell her stupid jokes. Write poems about her. Just walk around with her. Throw pebbles at her window at night. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Take her to shows of bands shes never heard of. Hold her hand in the mosh pit. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her. Call her back if she calls you. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree. Get her mad, then kiss her. Give her piggy-back rides. Go see her band play even if they really suck, and tell her they were great. Give her space if she needs it. Push her on swings. Stay up with her all night when shes sick. Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones. Teach her guitar. Lend her your cds. Write on her. Make her mixtapes. Write her letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour train trip. Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones. Listen to all the bands she mentions. Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck. When shes sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the photos of you she wants. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Kiss her in the rain.When you fall in love with her, tell her. <3

PS

2005-02-17T02:07:00.000+06:00

Flute, Love and Passion for life were stuf that i had written some time ago (with the exception of passion which was given to me a while ago).

Not in the mood to write anything new now. Its 2 am and i'm bludging. i have to finish this presentation and go home. Tomorrow have to struggle the the long, but quite warped arm of the law to retrive my licence from them. I went (or rather wasted) half an hour at the stupid cop station in the morning to get my driving licence after paying the fine at the post office the day before, to be told that they can't find it in that big box of theirs. To that cops credit, he was quite helpful and not rude like every other cop i have met. But what a bloody waste of time and resources. I realised that the female cops in the station are only there to type stuf. Glorified typists and desk clerks in uniform. How pointless their existances must be.

Anyway...didn't i say that i would stop bludging around. Sleepy time is way past. Good night. Pleasant dreaming. You can be anything you want tomorrow

The flute

2005-02-17T02:02:00.000+06:00

Mastering an art form, whether it’s learning to play a flute, guitar, origami, or acting…even love requires mastering of self first. For without mastery of self, how can u even contemplate mastering something or someone else? It’s like if you were learning to ride a horse… and if you’re not in control, the horse knows it. It will never bow down to your will.

Mastering of self requires will power, guts, determination and peace of mind.

You cannot force an “art” or “skill” into you. It has to be cajoled into accepting you as a willing host. It has to be something that you can tender and care for like you would your own son or daughter.

Once you have the required presence of mind needed for this mastery, it’s only a matter of patience. That’s all. For time rewards those who are not in a hurry to expend it.

To begin to master oneself, start small. Learn the art of breathing. The art of doing nothing. Be at inner peace with your self and your surroundings. Because remember - playing the flute is as natural as breathing…and the outcome is amazing. Its like a breath of fresh music.

You know that you are a master of yourself when you feel the control. When you feel the power coursing through your body and mind. Those around you, and everything you touch know it. They let themselves willingly be molded into whatever you desire of them. They give up their control to you…imagine that. You have the power to get anything done. These people are like puppets in your control.

Passion for life

2005-02-16T23:27:00.000+06:00

This is a personal anecdote of a very close friend who helped me through a tough time. i really hope she won't mind. This story inspired me everytime i felt down. I used to look at it everyday for a period cuz i stuck it up on the wall of my work space....

Tell you a story...
One summer, my parents sent me back to HK for the summer to work. I had loads of fun. I was shopping and hanging out with my old friends. One day, I was out with a friend shopping. I kept rubbing my eyes, don't know what happened. Then, i went home. In the middle of the night, my eyes just stung. It was really really really painful and tears were running down my eyes. I couldn't open my eyes, or I could but I couldn't see anything.

I totally freaked out. I went out into the streets at 4am to find eye-drops hopefully to ease the pain, walking alone (basically feeling my way around). When i got to a 7-11, they ran out of eye-drops. I just felt totally helpless.

But then, the next few days, I went to the doctor and he said he doesn't know if I will ever see again.

I was shocked. I had to keep living my life with my eyes closed and I couldn't go out in the morning coz the sun would stung my eyes and I would tear very quickly. I had to wear a huge hat. All of my friends (even non-Christian ones) started desperately praying for me. Finally, after a week, I opened my eyes, and I saw the world again.

You have no idea how much I love the life that I could see. Passion in life doesn't have to be reinserted through going out to see, look around and you will realize how very very lucky you are to be in this world. And you will have passion.

Love

2005-02-16T23:12:00.000+06:00

Love is amazing, until it goes away.

i have to see the brighter side,
beyond the dark shores,
cross the ocean that threatens to engulf me
fight the tide of misery
and reach the blue horizon across the deep, dark sea

i know that it exists,
because i was once there
floating around on a magic carpet ride
Then i met her and flew even higher
soaring above those terrible seas
not realizing that the fall would kill me

Shit

2005-02-14T19:46:00.000+06:00

Guess what. I am still messing around with this thing. It took me an hour to get here. Please bear with me until i conquor this shit. Only now did i realise that the mistake i was making is not knowing what my correct username was.

on other news...the prob with this thing is that if you get a piece of inspiration and need to write it down, a comp is usually never around. So i started my little scraps of life journal. It is absolutly not a silly little diary. ust scraps of random thoughts. Lets see how long it lasts.

This means that the cotent in this blog will be come a little boring i guess, until i figure out what or how to make use of this little thing.

It worked...it worked

2005-02-13T19:25:00.000+06:00

Shit...now what

I guess i should write. But i need to finish a resentation and go to mosque all in the next 5 minutes. instead of wasting time on this thing.

Ok. Until next time

Testing

2005-02-13T19:24:00.000+06:00

Knowing my luck, this will not work